Early in the year for a few days following my accident I didn’t know who anyone was or indeed who or where I was. Quite frightening but fortunately for me, it lasted a very short time. But what of those suffering from say Alzheimer’s? I’ve written several posts on this subject and for that very short time I could totally bond with my fictional character Jane:
My Name is Jane, I think.
They’re calling me Jane
Is that who I am
I am perfectly sane
but I don’t know their plan.
I look in the mirror and what do I see
Someone who vaguely resembles me
But why am I here and why all the tears
They are beginning to scare me, what is there to fear?
It seems like only yesterday I knew who I was and
Proud, strong and upright my life in my hands.
But now you tell me that isn’t so
Well if I am not me then where did I go?
I remember a time when my children were small
But yesterday and last week I know not at all
Where did those days go and why am I here
I wish you could tell me why did they disappear?
This young woman calls me Mother but I don’t know her at all
She looks kind of familiar, lovely smile, soft hands and all
And the young boys with her they are calling me Gran
But again I don’t know them why are they taking my hand?
Perhaps I knew her when I too was young
When life was before me and everything was fun
And losing one’s self wasn’t even thought of then
So how could I have landed here – is this the end?
I think I know you – are you a nurse
And where are you taking me, I know the way
Well I did before this curse
Came upon me and befuddled my mind
And now I feel that I have left me behind.
But I am still me though I can’t make you hear
I’m still your mother and hold you all dear
What’s that you say my name is Jane
And I really feel that I’m perfectly sane.
But they’re calling me Jane
Are they talking to me
Is that my name and
Who I used to be?
That is such an incredibly moving poem. Well done. It is also very sad. My mom has a bit of age-related dementia which I fear will get worse. It is so hard to see this happen to our loved ones. So glad yu are OK now and can still write these amazing words.
Thanks Darlene. it wasn’t frightening a the time because I really wasn’t with it but looking back I think that’s the way those like your Mother and mine feel most of the time.
Perfect expression of loss and confusion. I heard on the news yesterday someone has made a drug that actually removes the plaque that forms on the brain.
I wonder how many years we will have to wait for it. I think in those few days I came close to understanding people like my fictional Jane.
I lost a few of my marbles with complications about twenty-four years ago. I used to worry about not having a full set. There must be a slight hole in the bag as one or two more have slipped out recently. I’ve stopped worrying about them, I’ve stopped worrying about who I was then and am enjoying who I am now a lot more because of it. 😊
I saw how the disease affected my mother ad have aware of it ever since
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enjoyed reading your poem! Thanks for visiting me back and for the comment 🙂
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