Tag Archives: paying it forward

The Joy of Receiving

I did my Life Coach training through an organisation in Sydney owned and run by Anne Hartley.  And I keep in touch with her by email, sometimes phone and a very occasional visit.

Anne keeps in touch with her newsletter, phone calls and emails.

Today her newsletter was headed The Joy of Receiving and I should like to share it with you:-

“Last week I put my car in to have some maintenance work done and based on the quote I’d been given I expected to have to pay a hefty bill. When I picked up my car later that day I was delighted to find that the bill was $600 less than I expected and I just assumed that the mechanic didn’t need to do as much as he originally thought.

A couple of days later I noticed that one of my tyres was really black and I wondered if the mechanic had put some blacking agent on it, however, as I walked around my car I noticed that all of my tyres looked brand new. When I saw my dad on the weekend I asked him to check out my tyres to see if they were new and he said, ‘There is no doubt, there is no wear on the tread, these are brand new tyres’. When I told him that I hadn’t asked for them, or paid for them, and that I thought the mechanic had given them to me as a random act of kindness dad said, ‘No-one would do that. There has to be some mistake. Maybe he put someone else’s tyres on your car’.

That’s when doubt set in and I started to question. Should I thank the mechanic and embarrass myself if he really didn’t mean it? Should I offer to pay for the tyres? Do I come across as poor? And as I tossed these possibilities over in my mind I became aware, once again, at how easy it is to resist receiving and most of the time that is because our ego gets in the way.

I chose to accept the gift graciously. I waited a couple of days so that he could contact me if he had made a mistake and when he didn’t I called in and thanked him for the tyres (and I suspect the reduced bill). He said, ‘Tyres, what new tyres? I didn’t put new tyres on your car.’ And that’s when I knew without doubt that he had because I saw him turn away in embarrassment and the corners of his mouth turned upwards. And that’s exactly how I used to act when I would send people money anonymously.

As I turned to walk away I said, ‘Your random act of kindness is very much appreciated and I will make sure I pass it on’ and I saw him smile. That simple gesture not only made my day, it’s made my week and possibly my month. Every time I think about it I feel good.

It’s important for all of us to learn to receive graciously, when we do this we feel good and then we pass those feelings of goodwill along to others. We shift our focus off what is wrong with the world, people, or in our own lives and onto what is good. Since then I’ve noticed how often people do give to me, sometimes it’s a simple act of courtesy, of someone going out of their way to reassure me, or the lovely girls I buy my coffee from who brighten my day just by being happy to see me.

Give by all means and at the same time be open and receptive to receiving from unexpected sources.”

Source Hart Life Coaching – anne@hartlifecoaching.com.au.

Several months ago I wrote about paying it forward and I think that Anne will be doing just that to thank her benefactor.

Nobody can do everything,
but everyone can do something.
~Author Unknown

And here’s my rainbow for Anne and her mechanic and of course, for all of you.


My rainbow

Related posts

Paying it Forward – A Cascade of Giving


Paying it forward – A Cascade of Cooperation

“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed.  A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”~
Amelia Earhart 1897 – 1937, American aviation pioneer and author.

Many of you may have seen the movie ‘Pay It Forward’ based on the novel of the same name by Catherine Ryan Hyde.  Some like me, will have read the book.

This is a moving story about Trevor McKinney a 12-year-old boy in a small town.  His teacher gives the class a challenge and a chance to earn extra credit.  They have to come up with a plan to change the world for the better.  And they must put the plan into action.

Trevor does a favor for three people and when they ask how they can pay him back he tells them that instead of paying him back they should pay it forward.  They need to choose three people for whom they can do a favor and then tell those people to pay it forward.  I have seen it described as a human chain letter.

One good deed might not seem like much, but if everyone does something for even one other person then the cycle begins and like a pebble in a pond, will grow exponentially.  Hopefully in this way we can become better people with the world a better place in which to live.

In a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 22 1784, Benjamin Franklin wrote:

“I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you  meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.”

But one person can make a difference and the ripple effect can go on and on.  Look at this video to see how one man’s action started a chain reaction that changed the lives of seven other people.

I was reminded of this yesterday.  I had parked in town and thought I should be longer than I actually was.  When I returned to my car there was still 45 minutes unused on the ticket.  I offered it to the person waiting to take my park.  This woman was amazed that I would do this.  I suggested that in future if she found herself in the same situation she give the unused portion of parking to another person.  Hopefully she will do so.  Imagine the ripples of something this small.

Then think of other things to do.  I am a very active senior and so I can get about and do things for myself.  But others are not so lucky.

  • Can I take them to the store or go to the store for them?
  • Can I pick up somebody from my street who is walking to the store?
  • Can I pay for the coffee of another person in the store?
  • Can I put some change in a parking meter (we still have them in some streets in our city) when I see that the meter is expired?
  • Can I drive somebody to a doctor’s appointment – or a dentist or whatever?

The list is endless.  And none of these things cost a lot of money.

And what about volunteering?  Every charitable organization needs volunteers.  How can you help?  Can you give time to serve meals; read stories; help people in the final stages of their life write their stories?  There are plenty of things we can each do to make this a better time and place.

And if in helping somebody, that deed is recognized and passed on, we have made a start in the right direction.

Nobody can do everything, but everyone can do something.  ~Author Unknown

And another quote from my favorite author Lewis Carroll but this time from ‘Through the Looking Glass”

“Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

And here is a gift for all of you who will pay it forward today:

Bouquet of roses