Tag Archives: Life

It’s Wellington on a good day

Six word Saturday buttonSix word Saturday 

It’s Saturday again and time to join the gang at Six Word Saturday. Click on the badge to play along.

This has been the most perfect January day. Temperatures in and around 30 degrees. This is hot in this temperate climate and the pool at my son’s house was in high demand..

Lunch at a friend’s house but we decided it was too hot to eat outside so three elderly ladies ate lunch inside. Much laughter, exchange of stories and general well being. Some three and half hours later we decided that lunch was over.

How incongruous on this hot day the man delivering winter firewood arrived.

Back to lunch and how different was today’s lunch to yesterday’s.  Another beautifulWellington day but this time lunch with a friend who has dementia. Added to that is the problem that she is unable to walk without her Zimmer frame and you can see lunch was not a bundle of laughs.

I picked up my friend and we went to the beautiful Wellington Botanic Gardens. 25 hectares of landscaped gardens, protected natural bush, specialised plant collections and of course the famous Lady Norwood Rose Garden.  Nestled into the Rose Garden is the Begonia House set in a Victorian conservatory. And at the side of the Begonia House under the same roof is a delightful cafe. As you can imagine on such a lovely day it was full of people chatting, laughing and enjoying lunch.

Our lunch was a quieter more somber affair.  My friend who used to be the centre of any gathering was very quiet.  She has trouble remembering. Oh, she remembers names and who you are.  She has difficulty remembering events and words to describe her thoughts and feelings.

How scared she must be and how scared will her family be. She is aware that she isn’t making sense and gets annoyed with herself and there’s no way for me to help.

After a short run around the waterfront (in the car of course) I delivered her back home to her lovely husband.  I made us all a cup of tea and then left once again saying thanks to whichever god is looking out for me.

I really feel for this once vibrant, educated and intelligent woman whose life is now confined to their apartment and who now has to wait for a friend or family member to take her out. When I think of all the ills that could befall one, this would be the hardest to bear.

 

 

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Confusion

Hot, so very hot; panting like a dog and oh the pain; if only someone would make it go away and then she could concentrate on why she was here and what she had to do.

But the pain was never-ending and the noise – could that be her voice she could hear yelling obscenities ?

Suddenly there were smooth, calming hands on her forehead and a gentle voice said ‘It’s OK Mrs Jones, only a few more pushes now.”

And then she was back in this stark hospital room with doctors and midwives encouraging her as her son’s head appeared.

This post is in response to the 100 word writing challenge from
Velvet Verbosity where we are asked to write 100 words inspired by a single word prompt. This week’s word is SMOOTH

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Eleven Hints for Life

Having just returned from my son’s house after my Wednesday visit, I was sitting here wondering what I could post about today.  I turned to the notebooks that I have been keeping for so many years and a page almost jumped out at me.

I don’t know when I wrote this down, or where it came from, but it seems to make a lot of sense.  So here are somebody’s Eleven Hints:

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.  But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.

4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone – but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts that person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything they just make the best of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Sunrise

“In the end, it’s not going to matter how
many breaths you took, but how many
moments took your breath away.”
shing xiong.

 

 

What is Life – Part 2

I posted a poem by an unknown author on Monday.  The post was entitled What is Life and has spawned a life of its own.  I am so thankful to all those who added their lines, and would now like to share with you how clever our fellow bloggers are.

The original poem reads –

Life is a gift ….accept it
Life is an adventure ….dare it
Life is a mystery….unfold it
Life is a game….play it
Life is a struggle….face it
Life is beauty….praise it
Life is a puzzle….solve it
Life is opportunity….take it
Life is sorrowful….experience it
Life is a song….sing it
Life is a goal….achieve it
Life is a mission…fulfill it.

To this I added –
Life is for living….live it
Then JessieJeanine added –
Life is for loving….give it –
Lenore Diane added
Life is a story….tell it
And Kathy at Pocket Perspectives made me a get well gift using the poem and then produced a second post – morphed from the first entitled Happy New Day– Happy New Moment.
Then on this second post from Kathy
the petalpusher commented
Life is a big wave….surf it and
Sometimes life seems too salty….sweeten it!
Patricia added – Life is a gift …..open it

I really would love to hear your ideas on life to add to this growing list.

Thanks for reading and for all the good wishes and kind words you have sent me.  And here once again is the ubiquitous rainbow that I wish to share with you.

Rainbow

My rainbow

“And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down.
Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.”
Gilbert K. Chesterton

Learning to Soar in a Changing World

“It’s so curious:  one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.:  ~Colette

 

For some time now I have noticed a definite shift in my feelings about grieving for my late husband.  After many years I am able to look back and see just how far I have come from that ghastly day in 1998 when my soul-mate was declared ‘dead’.

Of course, at the time I didn’t know how I was going to live without him.  I had grown up with him having met and married him when I was 19.  And now 41 years later he was gone.

The few days following his death are still even now, a blur.  I do remember seeing my two adult children sitting with a man (who later turned out to be the funeral director) under a tree in my son’s garden.  Those two adult children made all the arrangements necessary for us to move to the next stage – a funeral and the function afterwards. I declared to anybody who would listen that I was not going to the funeral.  Of course, I was ignored, nobody believed me and of course, I went.

Those of you have been there know that at the beginning you can tell how many hours since your loved one died. This moves into how many days, then weeks, followed by months and then (as for me now) years. I would not say that any of the stages through which I have passed have been easy. Time does not heal regardless of the old adage, but it does make living without that special one easier.

I learned that I can go on – it doesn’t come with a choice.  I learned that there is still life without that special person and that given the opportunity friends and family will be very supportive as one goes through the stages of grief.  My family still support me on those ‘mean blue days’ that sneak up on one when one isn’t watching.

As part of my healing, I wrote.  I wrote how I was surviving, what I could do and did to get through each day and I found this exercise cathartic. this was published in a small book that I gave to friends and clients who found themselves in a similar situation.

And one day I realized that in fact I was growing and learning to live in this changing world.  I also changed the focus of my life coaching work towards people who found themselves alone through death, divorce or separation. And I founded a group that I call ‘Together”.  This is a loose group of people who come together regularly, or not as they choose, to support each other in their loss.  This has proved to be very helpful for a number of people.

And so the learning and coping go hand in hand and no doubt will do until I too die.