Easter in Lockdown

“It is a serious thing just to be alive
on this fresh morning, in this broken world.”
Mary Oliver

Along with the rest of the world, our plans for Easter this year have had to be abandoned.  This was to be a special Easter. My baby girl was having a special birthday on the 11th April, the Saturday of Easter. She was born four days before Good Friday and often since then, Easter has been around her birthday.

But now 60 years later (can I possibly be that old?) I had booked a cottage in one of the wine-growing regions for us.

My daughter, her two sons and girlfriends (if they wished) would all sally forth on Good Friday, spend three nights there and then head back home. We would spend our days wandering the vineyards and sampling the wines. We have a built-in driver as my daughter doesn’t drink. Does she know what she is missing?

The boys, now really young men, are both good cooks so those duties would be spread amongst us. I had told myself that for one breakfast I would make them Fairy Bread aka French Toast.  As little boys, they loved my “Fairy Bread” and nobody else was allowed to make it. But now instead of just lemon juice and sugar, I would serve it with stewed apples, banana, blueberries and maple syrup.  But this time, the only one who had that breakfast was me, eaten alone at the dining table at home.

I then got to thinking about other Easters in this long life.

When I was growing up in London all those years ago, Easter was an important time in our calendar.  We, three girls, went to church in our new clothes to celebrate Easter but of course, Mother, who was Jewish, didn’t accompany us.  And I am not sure why Father didn’t come, but he didn’t. Friday service was always very solemn and left us in a sombre mood for the rest of the day.

But we all looked forward to the Easter Parade on Easter Sunday.  On this day most Londoners congregated in Hyde Park to see ‘the toffs’ parading in their finery.  What excitement for three young girls.

Even as far back as the middle ages, many cultures would strut their new finery on their way to church or visiting friends on this Sunday.  A more spiritual slant is that this ritual represents the procession that followed Christ carrying the cross.

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There was the awful Easter in 2014 when somebody set fire to the storage area containing my worldly goods.

 

An arsonist was caught on camera entering the facility and when charged, claimed innocence. Luckily the things  I lost were replaceable, although unfortunately/stupidly  I had forgotten to insure the stored-goods. You can read more of this here.

There was a  memorable Easter spent on the French Riviera in an unheated caravan. Great memories of fun and laughter; another Easter with my parents and our baby daughter and yet more when our family was increased by the birth of a son.

And so many other memories of Easters spent around the world; until 1998 with my DYS (Dashing Young Scotsman) who by 1998 while still dashing, was no longer young and my children and then with their children. Then several years here in New Zealand without him but with family and friends, and a few short years with my Late Love, The Architect. Most  Easters has been memorable in one way or another and all sit safely in my Suitcase of Memories (thank you Patti,  of A New Day Dawns) to be taken out and enjoyed all over again.

But this Easter will surely go down in history as the strangest of all.

“Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am
to be blessed.”
Mary Oliver

And a final quote from Pope John Paul 11

“Do not abandon yourselves to despair.
We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.”
― Pope John Paul II (Karol Wojtyła)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Welcome Another Year

 

This from five years ago. How time flies and how almost in the blink of an eye, life changes. Today I am going to spend time with a friend – lunch and chats. Perfect.

 

“There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein

2014 was a busy and traumatic year for most of the world.  Terrorism seems to be gaining the upper hand.  We saw all those schoolgirls kidnapped in Nigeria, uproar in the middle east, riots and protests across the US, aircraft lost either vanishing into thin air or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  So we hope that 2015 will be a better time for all of us who inhabit this wonderful world.

So now it is the beginning of the second year of my new life.  I have been so lucky to have a second chance at love – I almost said life and love but I need no second chance at life.

I have always said I have lived a blessed life.  A long and mostly happy marriage, two adult children and four fantastic growing up grandsons, who could ask for more?  And then some 18 months ago into my life sailed this new love.

I have written about 2014 and what a busy year that was.  My sister came from London for five weeks, we went to Hobart to visit the Museum of New and Old Art.  We went to Europe for three and half months and saw so many things that if my partner hadn’t taken 18,000 plus (yes in excess of eighteen thousand) photos I wouldn’t remember half of what we saw and did  Then we moved house with all the attendant hiccups that brings.  And then suddenly it was Christmas.

Our plans were for a quiet Christmas but the best-laid plans and all that.  We had visitors for the weekend before Christmas, friends with three of their adult daughters, then on the 24th my daughter and her two boys came for a prolonged lunch and then it was Christmas Eve.  The other two grandsons visited and exchanged gifts and stayed for lunch and a friend who was to spend Christmas with us arrived.  That day we heard from my partner’s son that they “were all looking forward to spending the day with you”.  So what was to be just three of us and my partner’s aged (99-year-old) father in law turned out to be a celebration of 10 people.  But it was fun.

And it didn’t stop there.  Friends for lunch, friends for dinner, dinner with partner’s son and family for New Year’s Eve, a visit to friends at the beach and in the middle of all this, the 99-year-old fell and smashed his face and ended up in hospital.

And of course, Christmas is in the summer here.  Most people are on holiday and we have had a constant stream of visitors since.  But hey – who’s complaining!  We are having fun and the weather is co-operating so barbecues are the order of most days.

So I am going into 2015 with a happy heart and full of excitement for the year ahead.  We are planning a less eventful year but anything can happen to change those plans.

“I may not have gone where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
― Douglas Adams,

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Moving Into 2018

“Instructions for living a life. 
Pay attention. 
Be astonished. 
Tell about it.”
Mary Oliver

About this time of the year, I look back on what has gone before and set some goals for the next 12 months.   Not Resolutions as I know that for me they don’t last through the first two months and are usually dead before the end of January.

I use as my guide what I learned from the story of Noah and the Ark.  I first wrote about this in January 2012 and then used it again in December 2014.  The following year, 2015 was not great, my Late Love the Architect died and 2016 was hardly any better.  I had my misadventure in April and then my contretemps with a chair and a rug in December, so I was glad to see the back of that year.

And now it’s 2018 and I am looking back on 2017.  So what did I learn?

• I did listen to the voice within when deciding to remain in my little apartment in my daughter’s house.
• I followed my intuition that I would be safe here
• I hadn’t made my preparations in advance as originally, this was to be a  stop-gap while I found somewhere else to live.
• My life was built on strong foundations and those foundations are my two very supportive children and daughter-in-law, and the four large grandsons who are growing into fine young men.
• My possessions were brought from storage and some fitted well into my new little abode.  The rest found new homes via the Salvation Army.  A win-win situation.
• Once again, I chose my companions well and cut the few toxic people out of my life
• I still love my companions and fellow travellers.
• And some of these travellers aka my children I set free once again to return as and when they wish or if they are needed.
• Yes, I did listen to other people’s opinions but always made my own decisions.
• I learned that living in a house with two teenage Grandsons is never boring.
• I make time for quiet meditation which nurtures my soul.
• I embraced many new experiences since writing the original posts.
• I was brought up in England and have always loved the feel of the gentle rain on my face.
• And I also love the sunshine and notice how differently people behave when the sun is shining.
• I volunteered at another Hospice; the one where my Late Love died and continue to believe I got more from the experience than anyone at the Hospice does.
• I have learned to accept the assistance offered by others – I hope this acceptance has been gracious.
• I know that there will be hard times interspersed with the sunshine and light.
• I have known for a long time that we share this planet with a myriad of other creatures both large and small, and we don’t must share the bounties with them
• I continue to nurture an attitude of gratitude.  I am very aware of how very lucky I have been all my life.
• I know that one woman with a strong belief in herself can overcome just about anything life can throw at her.

So with a cheerful heart and a desire to see what this New Year will bring this aged adventurer, I am ready for 2018.

“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself,
and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.” 
Shirley Maclaine –  American actress, singer, dancer, activist, and author
1934 – 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Voices

“and there was a new voice which you slowly
recognized as your own, that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper into the world,
determined to do the only thing you could do —
determined to save the only life you could save.”

 

Today I read this post “I Have aVoice “from Joss at Depth of a Woman.  I immediately responded in the comments section – Another good post and as Mary Oliver says in The Journey “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice “

The quote above is also part of the same poem by Mary Oliver.  As Joss says, we are all held up at some time in our life by these voices, whether from friends, acquaintances or others, or even that voice in our own subconscious.  These voices choose to manipulate us and it’s only once we recognise that, that we are able to move forward.

So today I urge you to ignore those voices and take the first or the next, step on your journey.  Only you can determine where you are going.

OK Life Coach hat off for the day!

******

And today the sun is shining here so no excuses for not getting out and walking or maybe even doing some work in the garden.  Since last year’s adventure, I have had a team of people who come in every 4 weeks to weed, mow the lawn, clip hedges etc.  They also plant for me.  But though I am in no way a gardener, I miss doing some of these things.  So today I am going to pot the plants I bought yesterday (in the pouring rain) and then after a visit to the audiologists (one result from the adventure) I shall return to sit in the garden with my book and a cup of tea.  How’s that for a good plan for the day.

 

Oh no, I’ve Done it Again

Just when you think you have lived enough years and used a computer for many of those years, you do something that is indescribably “stupid”.

Now I am not saying I am stupid, but what I did today was certainly stupid.

I was looking for an email I received last week, unsuccessfully I might add, when I saw just how many emails were in the boxes and so decided to clear them.  Yes, you guessed it.  This ancient mind cleared all and every one of those emails.  So now I can’t find anything.  So if you have sent me an email you now know why I haven’t responded.

Back in August last year, I wrote a post Can You Believe It? in which I bemoaned the fact that I had lost all the work that I did during my Life Coaching days because I hadn’t saved everything from one computer to the next.  So who would have thought I could do anything like today’s activity.

Well, this crazy elderly lady .is alive and well in Wellington. Note Grammarly suggests using the word old in place of elderly.  You know we don’t use old in this house.

So with no emails to read what shall I do today?

I started by making soup.  Mushrooms and broccoli in the fridge so that was the basis and having had some for lunch, I can report that the result was good.

Then after lunch, time to read the blogs that I follow.  I must say the writers of these posts are a fairly eclectic bunch.  I read about a house being built with all that goes with it; another queried and mused reality or not, and another showed us the path of Irma heading to Florida, and yet another thought about the  two monsters with monstrous egos about to shatter our world; and how about a fictional time when children and all they know and are, are decided upon by their parents with the help of a machine/computer. And of course, I continue to follow the progress of Wai the potbelly pig being loved and cared for in a small farm.

A good range of things to think on and comment on.

 

Image stolen from Jeff at jccsst-random.blogspot.co

But my thoughts for today are closer to home.  We are supposedly in Spring but alas, one good day does not a Spring make or words to that effect.  Monday was Spring.  Since then we have had torrential rain and winds that Chicago readers would be proud of.  The Met Service warns “A strong and unsettled spring-time northwesterly flow lies over New Zealand this week, delivering periods of heavy rain to western areas through to at least the weekend”.  And we are told “unprecedented” rain has burst river banks and forced the rescue of tourists amid a chaotic morning of weather around NZ.”

Two American tourists were trapped in their car overnight. When they awoke their feet were in water and they had to be rescued by the Fire Service.  They are unharmed but wet and miserable.

Tornadoes, lightning strikes, thunder and more rain are forecast for the rest of this week.  We live in a long narrow country, surrounded by water so we expect this.  But not in Spring.

And now the rain has stopped so I shall take advantage of that and go for a walk, before returning to be a beta reader for Joss Burnell.  She is my blogging friend, sister of choice and a published author who lives in Cuenca.  This will be her third book and I am keen to get back to reading about her heroine/protagonist.

 

 

What were you thinking?

As Einstein said – “There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
I choose the second option.

On this day four years ago, before I had met and reconnected with my Late Love, the Architect, I wrote this post, Waltzing Matilda.

Of course, I had no idea how my life would change in such a short time.

Soon after writing that I decided to make some major changes to my life.  I decided to go to Italy for a few months and I put the house on the market and it sold very quickly.  Meantime I met up with my Late Love again and what had been a friendship quickly turned into a love affair.  But having made the decision to go away for three months (at least) I journeyed to Florence and blogged every day letting my friends and relatives know what I was doing.

Then when  I returned to NZ I moved in with my Late Love, the Architect.  And in October last year, a prompt from Patricia at Patricia’s Place spoke to me and so You Are Beautiful was written.

A 5-week long visit from my sister in the UK had us showing her around Godzone – or Aotearoa (New Zealand).  A great time for us all and my sister and the Architect bonded as I had hoped and they became great friends.

Then 13 weeks in Europe catching up with friends and revisiting places we had been before but with our spouses.  And then

Unfortunately, unknown and unbidden, a tumour was growing in the Architect’s brain and suddenly it took over and won the battle, so ending the life of my Late Love.

And still, “Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime
and falling into at night.
I miss you like hell.”
Edna Vincent Millay, 1892-1950

So yet another a new chapter started in my life.  Early in 2016, I had a serious accident (I refer to it as another adventure) which necessitated a stay in rehab where I saw so many others so much worse off than me.  Then fully recovered, one day there was a contretemps between a chair leg and a rug – the result was the chair fell with me sitting on it and so a fractured shoulder.

As we know everything passes and once again I’m back to my normal self.  But the question now arises, what to do with the rest of my life.

I’ve begun to write again and once again have decided to write my blog posts if not daily then more often than I have recently.  I have begun to volunteer at the hospice where my Late Love died and again, I know I get more from this than they do.  Oh and as I have been reading and reviewing so many books recently, I started a new blog Books&morebooks.  Maybe one or more of the reviewed books might appeal to you.

Sorry that this post has been all about me.  This January is confirmed as having been the worst in 30 years.  Rain, wind and very little sunshine.  But yesterday we had summer.  It was just as summer ought to be.  Warm, sunny and no wind.  But alas, this morning it has reverted to what we have come to expect this summer, wind and overcast and now at midday the rain has started. The standard roses are taking yet another battering and some of the pots have blown over.  Summer, sorry not here.

And of course, no post is complete without a Mary Oliver quote

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

These beautiful words, from Mary Oliver’s poem, The Summer Day, remind and inspire me. They remind me that, first and foremost, my life is entirely what I make of it and as I have only one life,  I mean to make the most of it.

Dust if you must

If this is your copyright, I apologise for using it.  Please let me know.

I have no doubt you have heard of our earthquake.  7.7 on The Richter Scale – yes, it was a big one.  While we celebrate the fact that only one death was directly attributable to the earthquake, that of a man who was killed when a historic homestead collapsed and a woman who died of a heart attack; we mourn for the two lives lost. The man’s 100-year-old mother survived.

And those of us affected by minor damage in our houses try to get back some sense of normalcy into our lives.  Added to the damage caused to roads and buildings, has been the torrential rain that we have experienced since the quake.  Many buildings in Wellington’s Central Business District have been damaged, shops, offices and schools are closed while the result of damage to the properties is evaluated.

But down south at and near the epicentre things are so much worse.  Some places are cut off entirely as roads are impassable.

It is at times such as this when we thank the powers that be for our being unhurt by a disaster of this magnitude that we take stock of our lives once again.

Shirley Conran told us that Life is too Short to Stuff a Mushroom” but this poem by Rose Milligan says it for me:

“Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better
to paint a picture ,or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time,
with rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
Music to hear and books to read,
friends to cherish and life to lead?

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there,
with the sun in your eyes and the wind in your hair,
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
this day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself will make more dust.”

Wikipedia tells me it was originally published in 1998 in “The Lady” Britain’s longest-running weekly women’s magazine. It has been in continuous publication since 1885 and is based in London.

So dust if you must, or stuff a mushroom but for me, this has been yet another wake-up call.  So I’m off to see what other adventures await me.

 

Thoughts on Thursday

“It is a serious thing
just to be alive on this fresh morning
in this broken world. Mary Oliver

Just wasting time on Facebook this morning.  The sun is shining and I should go for my walk before I Skype with Chris at Bridges Burning  But I found a post on FB from Suzicate wherein she quoted a favourite poem  of mine from Dawna Markova.

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible;
to loosen my heart
until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,
and that which came to me as blossom,
goes on as fruit.

 

I used this quote in a post when I was still new to blogging – I Will Not Die.  Re-reading that post and the poem, I realise that the poem applies even more to me today than it did in December 2011.

Following my adventure in April, I have had to:

• overcome the fear of falling again
• choose to inhabit my days
• allow my living to open me
• learn to ask for and accept help
• learn to take each day as it comes
• know that I’m loved and supported by many and
• to be grateful for the help and support offered.

So now this day is starting.  The sun is shining, the birds are singing and my walk is calling.

“Now shall I walk or shall I ride?
‘Ride,’ Pleasure said;
‘Walk,’ Joy replied.”
― W.H. Davies poet 1871-1940

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today is Tuesday

It’s a new dawn
It’s a new day
It’s a new life for me
And I’m feeling good”
― Leslie Bricusse, The Leslie Bricusse Songbook 

As I was so pleased with myself following yesterday’s walk, I decided to walk again today.

This time I found some other steps leading from our road down towards the village. And this time there were not 132 steps to navigate but 154.

So I walked down and found myself in yet another road I had never seen before, then on to the village and a hot chocolate and a scone for lunch, although I was so hot I should really have had a cold drink.

Then back home, this time retracing yesterday’s walk to the village, past the primary school, along two roads and up those 132 steps. I must say this gets easier each day.

A shorter distance today – 2.90 kms and 6.9K steps. I wonder where I’ll go tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

I’m always thrilled at what one sees when walking that one completely misses when driving.  And if I hadn’t been walking to the village instead of driving I wouldn’t have found these roads and would I ever have ventured down these steps.

Later I was picked up by a friend to spend the afternoon at her place, talking but mainly playing a game new to me called Upwords.

It has now become a regular weekly afternoon and I am certainly enjoying this new way of making this elderly brain work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Meandering on Monday

Pluviophile  – I learned this word from a blogging buddy, VivinFrance, who I’m sorry to say is no longer with us.  Still miss her.

I’m English so I like the rain and walking in it – that is of course if I’m properly dressed. And today it’s pouring down.  So I’ll get properly attired and face the rain. I’m so thankful that I am able to walk again on my own.  Until recently I had to have somebody with me when I walked but two weeks ago I was given the all-clear.  So another thing to add to my gratitude list.

Then shortly before 1pm, the rain stopped and the sun came out.  Just to be expected in the NZ summer.  So I decided that rain gear wasn’t necessary and I would go for a walk.  But once I started I didn’t know when to stop.

I started up our long drive and put on the MapMyWalk Ap. Up the drive to the road and then down these 132 steps, then along to the village for coffee. I decided to come the other way home forgetting that it was all uphill.  There were some steps on the way but far fewer (36).   So 3.4kms in 57minutes. Very pleased with myself

Once I got home I realised how out of practice I am, so have to do more of this walking to get back into shape.  So a cup of tea, Stacey Kent on Pandora and my book and all was very well with my world.

And today I have been given the date for my driving test.  When one suffers from brain injury following an accident, one’s licence is immediately suspended for six months.  My friendly ACC (Accident Compensation Corporation) Case Manager set this up for me.  So on October 6, I go for an off-road test and then when I pass that, I will have another test driving my own car around the streets.  Hooray – the final hurdle in this latest “adventure”.

Oh, and those of you have hung in since 2011 will know that this will be my fourth driving test.  I wonder if it will be as easy as the others.