Category Archives: Humor

You’ve Got Mail

Here is today’s email.

To             The Citizens of the United States of America
From      Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,
Subject  Greetings.

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.  A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

  1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’  Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters,  and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’  Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up ‘vocabulary’
  2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S.English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u” and the elimination of  ‘-ize.’
  3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
  4.  You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to shoot grouse.
  5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
  6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
  7.  The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
  8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
  9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of  known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth – see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
  10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.  Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.
  11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
  12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
  13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.
  14.  An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
  15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!

Queen Elizabeth

Comme Un Chef

Once a month our local bijoux cinema in concert with Alliance Francais shows a French movie.  These are all wildly widely supported and we always try to see them.  This month’s offering was Comme Un Chef (The Chef).

A self-trained cook with haute-cuisine ambitions, Jacky (Michael Youn) gets sacked from a series of menial cooking jobs for taking exception to his customers’ taste. He even gets fired from a fast food restaurant where the customers want everything with fries.

Beatrice (Raphaelle Agogue), Jacky’s heavily pregnant girlfriend, tries to halt their financial meltdown by arranging a handyman position for him at an old folks home, but even here while he is painting the window frames, he can’t resist the  call of the kitchen.

But rather than tell you the story why don’t you watch the trailer.

We thoroughly enjoyed it and laughed as loudly as the rest of the audience.  I hope you get the opportunity to see this movie when it comes to your area.  I wasn’t even aware that I was reading the subtitles.  The body language and my school girl French (and of course the subtitles) allowed me to follow without a problem.

“The best way to appreciate your job is
to imagine yourself without one”
Oscar Wilde

That Green Thing

I received this email from a young friend (well she is one of my surrogate daughters really) and although I have seen it before I thought I would share it with you.  So if you have seen it already, please bear with me.

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman,
that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.  The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days.”  The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations.”

She was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

  • Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.
  • Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribbling. Then we were able to personalize our books. But too bad we didn’t do the green thing back then.
  • We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.
  • Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.
  • Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them)?,not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.  Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.
  • We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then.
  • Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we older folks
were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

Use it up, wear it out, make it do,
or do without.
New England proverb

The Visitor


We all grow up with the weight of history on us.
Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains
as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden
in every cell of our bodies.
Shirley Abbott, magazine editor and writer
1934 –

I have written before about this old lady who seems to inhabit my house alongside Lotte and me.  I haven’t invited her in, but wherever I go she is there before me.  When I go into the bathroom she is looking at me where the mirror is supposed to be.  I pass along the hall and there she is again.  She’s in the bedroom, the living room and at the front door.  I don’t know who she is or why she is living in my house.

Cross Old Woman

She doesn’t even appear to be happy that she is getting free board and lodging without having been invited.  And she has never heard the expression that guests are like fish – great on the first day, getting a little stale on the second and definitely off by the third.

So why is she here?  And today I even saw her at a friend’s house.  Is she stalking me? She was in the car on the way home getting a free ride.  But the most worrying thing is that I am the only one who ever sees her.  When I ask a family member they tell me that they can only see me.  So what’s going on here?

Seriously though, I remember somebody saying to my late husband when we decided to get married “Look at her mother.  That’s how she will look when she is older.”  And goodness me, that is coming true.  I always thought that I looked like my father but not any more.

And I hear myself saying some of the things she used to say and even doing things her way.  So is it genetics or learned behaviour?  I haven’t lived in the same house as Mother for 55 years and  she has been dead for 16 of those years.  Added to that I haven’t even lived in the same country for most of my adult life, so where does this come from? (Yes I know, grammatically incorrect but it reads better this way).

And then looking at the next generation.  I see my own daughter saying and doing things in the same way that my Mother used to and that I now do.  So like the family face some other things are passed down through the generations.

And the family face – here’s the first verse of the poem by Thomas Hardy (1840-1928):

I am the family face;
Flesh perishes, I live on,
Projecting trait and trace
Through time to times anon,
And leaping from place to place
Over oblivion.

So where is this rambling post taking me?  I don’t know but know it must end here.

“And now
as the water cascades and tumbles
over the rocks in its rush
down to join the river
so my thoughts tumble around my brain
looking for an outlet
or a safe place to stop.”
Judith Baxter, Blogger, Mother, Grandmother and Friend 1938 –

Just Thinking

“Friendship makes prosperity more shining
and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.”
Cicero, 44 B.C.

It’s a Wet, Windy Wellington Wednesday night and I have plenty of thoughts running around my brain but nothing cohesive to put into a blog.  Oh how often I have started a blog with similar words over the past couple of weeks!

As it is Wednesday I have just returned from dinner with two of my grandsons.  It was rather special because neither of the parents were there and so I had the boys to myself.  James, the eldest at 17, has now moved through the monosyllabic stage and talks to his Granma about many things.  He kept me entertained while I prepared dinner for the three of us.  He still is undecided what he will do when he leaves school at the end of this year and is investigating several things but none with any great intensity.

His younger brother is getting over his knee operation and spends most of his time lying on the bed watching TV or sending messages via text or email to his many friends.  Strangely at 16 he hasn’t been monosyllabic in fact, if anything, he has always talked too much.  But he is still sad that he has had to leave his school in Auckland to be at home while he recuperates.

Then on the way home I tuned into A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor.  I have written about this before and how I really enjoy this programme.  for the uninitiated it is set in a fictional town Lake Woebegon  where “the women are strong, the men are good looking and the children are above average.”  Tonight it passed the time very pleasantly while I drove through the rain with several stops for road works.  The road I use to come home from my son’s house is State Highway One and they (whoever they are) are constantly working on this road.  Hardly ever do I come home without encountering road works somewhere.

Earlier in the day I sent Andy onto his next destination.  Patti at A New Day Dawns gets to host Andy in Virginia Beach.  I do hope the weather is better for him there than it has been while he has been with us.  We have had some really glorious and warm days but we have also had many days of rain.  And the last couple of days have been ghastly!  So farewell Andy; travel well and take care.

What else?  I had a conversation with a man in the supermarket car park.  He was objecting vociferously about people parking badly and making it difficult for others.  Although why he was carrying on in this way was hard to tell.  There was plenty of parking available for all.  Well perhaps he was miffed because he couldn’t park really close to the store and so had to get his nice shiny shoes all wet.  And why he chose to tell me his problems is beyond me, although I have said before that I talk to people and they usually end up telling me their life stories.  But today I didn’t want to stand in the rain learning anything at all about this miserable man.

And now it is 11 pm.  Time for all good women to take themselves off to bed with a final cup of coffee, a good book and their trusty companion.

Lotte in bed

Goodnight from Lotte

Dear Diary

Six word Saturday button

It’s Saturday again so here we go.  If you would like to participate please either click on the picture above or click this link.

RECEIVED THIS FROM A FRIEND TODAY

I am blonde (well really more white than blonde now) and I do enjoy blonde jokes, so I am sharing this with you.  I hope it makes you laugh on this sunny but chilly Saturday.  And spare a thought for that Bob – he must be a saint!

Cooking and cleaning

Magnet on my fridge

THE BLONDES COOKBOOK

Monday 
It’s fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbours were nice enough to loan me the extra bowls.

Tuesday
He wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing.  So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when he brought a friend home for supper.

Wednesday
A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can’t say it improved the rice any.

Thursday
Today he asked for salad again; I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. He asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

Friday
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left

Saturday 
He did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don’t have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason he keeps counting to ten.

Sunday
I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius… I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.

Diary

 

Friday Follies

After yesterday’s mostly sombre post I thought I should do something a little lighthearted.  But what?  My mind is a complete blank.  I look around the study for inspiration.  My eye sets on a card with this comment:

“I HAVE OFTEN WISHED I had time to cultivate modesty…But I am too busy thinking about myself”  Edith Sitwell.

Edith Sitwell

Portrait by Roger Fry 1918

There is a very stern photograph of Dame Edith that accompanies this comment. Nothing much lighthearted to say about this Dame.  She didn’t like her eccentric parents and lived most of her life with her governess; she never married and became passionately involved with the homosexual Russian painter Pavel Tchelitchew.  When her mother died in 1937 she didn’t attend the funeral.  She fell out with Noel Coward after he wrote a skit on her and her two brothers for a revue and only reconciled with him after her 70th birthday.  She ended her life in a wheel chair having suffered with Marfan  Syndrome for most of her life.  According to Wikipedia (and what would we do without it?) “Marfan syndrome (also called Marfan’s syndrome) is a genetic disorder of the connective tissue. People with Marfan’s tend to be unusually tall, with long limbs and long, thin fingers.  The syndrome is inherited”.  Looking at Dame Edith it is easy to see that she fits this description.  Not a happy life.

Andy and the jelly beansAnd now Andy is eying the jelly bean jar that has been replenished.  He is a greed y little armadillo.  I must remember to warn Patti when he goes there to stay next week.

I really shall have to think of some great adventures for him in his last weekend in New Zealand.Perhaps his friend Lotte can come up with some suggestions.

Lotte at the fireBut perhaps not.  It is a sunny but chilly morning and having been outside for a few minutes, Lotte is back in her usual place in front of the fire.She doesn’t like mornings; doesn’t like the cold but loves warm fires and long walks.

And aren’t some politicians daft foolish?  We have a situation here where the leader of one of our political parties is in hot water because of a couple of cheques he received in support of (an earlier) mayoral campaign.  Under the Local Electoral Act a candidate must declare if he/she knows the source of any donation over $1,00.

The cheques are identified as coming from the internet millionaire Kim Dotcom but they were recorded as anonymous.  These cheques were for $25,000 each and were deposited by a Dotcom employee who is quoted in our newspaper today as saying that Mr Banks (the politician) had phoned to say thanks for the donation.  Banks denies phoning to say thanks as he didn’t know who made the donations.  We all know there is no such thing as a free lunch and Dotcom is on record as saying that he thought Banks could help him in his desire to purchase a $NZ30million mansion.

We know that power corrupts but how foolish is this man to think he won’t be found out.  And it looks as if he might be asked to stand down from  his ministerial portfolios pending an enquiry. If you should be at all  interested to read the coverage by The Guardian in the UK click here

For the record the United States is trying to extradite Dotcom on charges including internet piracy and money laundering.  Watch this space!

And browsing through the newspapers online,  I came across an article in 24 hours Vancouver describing how a man, Nik Wallenda, will walk across Niagara Falls on a tightrope.  “The walk should take 35-40 minutes but if the weather is good I may spend more time out there.” he said at a news conference on Wednesday.  I heard this man being interviewed on the radio yesterday and asked myself – Why?

And in the  Calgary Herald I read “Canadian woman flushed with pride”.  Canadian stunt woman Jolene Van Vugt sped into the Guinness Book of Records by riding a motorised toilet at 75 mph in Sydney, Australia.  Again I ask myself – Why?

And The Boston Herald has a front page story on the wedding reception from hell.  Apparently the groom’s brothers were denied a drink at the bar.  this incensed the groom who punched a wall and set about destroying the venue’s coat room after being advised to calm down by another guest.

Apparently when the police showed up it was mayhem with guests rolling around the floor fighting and then the  mother of the groom attacked the mother of the bride.  We are told that the happy couple took off to the  Dominican Republic to enjoy their honeymoon and I guess hope, forget the unfortunate start to their married life.

A headline in Singapore’s The Straits Times reads “War room challenge for Japan begins in bedroom”.  I leave you to work out what that is all about.  Hint – the deal between Japan and the US over basing arrangements for Okinawa and manning the bases.

And the scandal rocking the Catholic Church continues.  The Belfast Telegraph has on its front page the refusal by Cardinal Brady.  Brady is the Catholic Primate of all-Ireland and  it is claimed has been proven that he knew of child abuse amongst priests and did nothing about it.

In an expose on BBC’s This World programme he said  he  accepted he was part of “an unhelpful culture of deference and silence in society, and the Church”.  Should you wish to read more of this click here

Glasgow’s The Herald has an article headed “Rain Blamed as Fewer Scots Beaches Pass Quality Test”.  Did you know there was a Marine Conservation Society’s Good Beach Guide?  No, neither did I until I read this article.

I couldn’t resist this heading in Britain’s Independent – “Rain stops asparagus festival”.  Apparently the recent rains and flooding have resulted in the seasonal vegetable being almost dormant.  So the annual Festival has been cancelled.  Adding to the problems of no asparagus, the venue that was to host the festival, in the Vale of Evesham is under water.  So no product plus no venue equals no festival.

And The Church of England Newspaper has this heading on its front page – ‘Conference – It’s time for us to elect chairman of the Primates.”  Are we to understand that monkeys and apes will now rule the Church?  Well of course not.  But editors should pay more attention to the headlines.

So are you bored with my run around the newspapers of the world?  I just love reading what is going on and being reported in other countries.  This has become a bit like a drug and I find myself going back again and again to read the papers.

“”If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?”
From Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

And here endeth this rambling Friday blog.

Getting around town

Sitting in the traffic today and then driving around waiting for a park, I suddenly remembered this clip I had seen some where and wondered why we don’t use cycle skates any more.  Click here for the link

These were apparently all the rage in the 1920s and it was thought they would become the wave of the future.  These were the ancestors of inline roller skates and think how easy it would be to park them.  Just pick them up and go – no parking tickets, no limit on the time one can be away.  Sounds a little like heaven.

But I guess they have gone the way of the Penny farthing and the unicycle.

And still on the subject of parking.  A few weeks ago I met some friends for coffee and parked my car outside the restaurant.  I duly paid the parking fee and all was well.  It was only the other day when clearing papers out of my purse that I looked at the ticket –

Parking ticket

Look at the date.  Does this mean I have free parking in Oriental Parade until 1.14pm on March 30 2021?  I wonder how many others have this free parking.

Andy

And here is a shot from the other day – Andy waiting patiently in the car for Lotte and me to go for a walk.  It wouldn’t stop raining so the walk was off, but Andy seemed to enjoy just sitting in the car watching the world go by.

Look Who’s Coming To Dinner

The wait is over.  A parcel arrived today.  Unceremoniously dumped on the verandah at the front door – well the postman didn’t know that it contained a precious cargo – Andy the Armadillo.

What's in the box

What's in the box? Wait is something moving in it?

Are you up to the play on Andy and his travels around the world?  Well Lenore Diane in Woodstock, Georgia traded some Smoked salmon (well she thought that was what it was) for an armadillo at a White Elephant Gift Exchange.  She then came up with the idea of his travelling to various places.  He visited K8did in Florida and after some time and an exciting visit he went on to visit Georgette in Texas.  Here he had plenty of excitement and a massive sugar hangover.  No wonder the little chap looked a trifle peaky by the time he arrived here.

Making friends

Lotte in her inimitable fashion greeted this new friend and made him feel at home.

Lotte and Andy

She showed him around her favourite places in the garden

Sharing dinner

She offered to share her dinner not knowing whether Armadillos ate chicken

Andy and a cheese sandwich

Not really liking the chicken, Andy decided to check out my toasted sandwich

Andy and book

Then he became interested in the book I was reading. Can armadillos read?

Andy and the gnome

Then he had a stroll around the garden

Lotte and Andy on chair

And after all the excitement of the day he decided to join Lotte in a postprandial snooze.

Tomorrow Andy will start her Wandering in Wellington and Lotte and I shall report back to you.

And just to remind you that according to Will Cuppy

Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much.

I’ll report on that too!

Looking for Andy

Lotte and I have been waiting patiently for the arrival of Andy the Armadillo.  Andy belongs to Lenore Diane and she is letting him roam around the world visiting her blogging friends.   He is coming all the way from Georgette’s place in Texas to visit us here in Wellington, New Zealand.

Lotte

Well where is he?

Lotte has agreed that provided he doesn’t take up too much space and doesn’t snore he can share her comfortable space on Mama’s bed.  There will be room or both of them.

Lotte

According to Wikipedia “Armadillos are prolific diggers with sharp claws. Many species use their sharp claws to dig for food, such as grubs, and to dig dens.”  Lotte certainly won’t like it if Andy decides to dig in the bed.  Or maybe he will want to sleep on her favourite chair, or on her rug in front of the fire.  But he looks like a cheerful chap and no doubt they will sort themselves out.

Visitor visa

Georgette told us that she had sent Andy on to us several days ago.  We have a visitor’s visa in place for him; Georgette organised his passport and so all should be well.

The only thing I can think that may be holding up his delivery to us is that somebody thinks that our small friend should go into quarantine.  Here in New Zealand we are manic about protecting our shores.  When we first arrived in New Zealand some 40 plus years ago, our Cocker spaniel had to come by sea – some 6 weeks – because of the quarantine laws here.  I understand that these have been relaxed over the years.  But still..

Pet Quarantine

OMG do you think somebody thinks that we are smuggling unwanted pets into the country.  Poor Andy will never survive this.

 

Border patrol

Perhaps the parcel looks suspicious.  Or do you think somebody in our postal system has decided that they want this little fellow for themselves.

In any event, Lotte and I shall have to wait to hear of his arrival.  Maybe we shall have to go out to the airport to have him released from the clutches of the man spraying or the guys opening so that we can take him home with us.

No doubt he will be tired after his adventures.  Even being on the plane for so many hours will be taxing for him.  And we do know that armadillos sleep for up to 16 hours a day.  Maybe he slept all the way from Texas.

And we shall have to make sure the house is warm, the heating on all the time as we are told “Armadillos live in temperate and warm habitats, including rain forests, grasslands, and semi-deserts. Because of their low metabolic rate and lack of fat stores, cold is their enemy.”  It’s autumn/fall here and the temperature today only reached 19 degrees Centigrade.

We understand that armadillos eat beetles, ants, termites, and other insects. Well, unfortunately I have just rid the house of spiders and other bugs, so we shall have to go out and forage for Andy.

Lotte tired

Until he comes, Lotte will wait for Andy in her favourite autumn place

Meantime we will just wait for our visitor to arrive.

Watch this space for news of Andy the Armadillo.  The last thing we heard was –

Andy on the job

I’m working my way to see you soon, Judith.