”When one person is missing
the whole world seems empty.”
Pat Schweibert, American Author
Twenty-one years ago today, the light went out of my world. My DYS (Dashing Young Scotsman) had died. There are no words to tell how I felt for the next few months. Nothing and nobody could fill the void.
I was lucky that there were three young grandsons around to cheer me up. The eldest, three-year-old James, said “Granma, when it stops raining, will you stop crying?’ and ‘Look Granma, the sky is crying because Grampa is dead”.
Of course, he was far too young, as were the others, to understand the devastation that had crept /crashed into my life.
At that time I didn’t know how I was going to go on with the rest of my life; but it doesn’t come with a choice. One just has to go on living.
I had no friends or family who had suffered such a loss, and while they were all very supportive, I really was on my own on this journey.
But through this, I found a reason for being. I became a Life Coach and directed my energy towards others who were grieving and attempting to survive. My volunteering was (and still is) in a hospice where people were struggling with their loved ones imminent end of life. How quickly I realised I wasn’t the only one on this survival journey.
I wrote a small book Suddenly Single and gave it to my clients and then friends who found themselves in this situation.
And I found I could go on with my life. Even without the person with whom I had grown up, and who was most supportive of everything I did, and eventually, I realised that life could be good again.
Later, I started blogging and through this medium, I met others who had survived and who became friends.
And now, twenty-one years on, I have made a happy life for myself. There were a couple of major hiccups along the way – the death of the Architect in 2015 followed by my disastrous misadventure in 2016 – but in all life has been good to me.
I know that some of you are just starting on this journey, or are new to it. Please believe me when I say there is a way out of this storm of grief and everybody’s journey is different. If you are suffering, please contact me. I should like to send you a copy of the newest version of my book. This edition is called Stepping Stones.
I propose to publish it and put it on Amazon but until then, I’m happy to give you a copy.
End of misery post. Tomorrow I shall be back to normal. As my children always say – Pollyanna is alive and well and living in Wellington, New Zealand.
And for now, as Shirley MacLaine says:
“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play
that I’ve written for myself and so my purpose is
to have the utmost fun playing my part.”