Grief – The Black Dog

Like a thief in the night
Grief slinks silently back into my life
Disturbing the peace I have fought so hard for
It is like a fractious child demanding attention
And as the mother with her child, I give in
And am taken back to the beginning
When days were so long and nights even longer.
When I thought there was no way out of this slough of despair
And I am once again immobilised by it.
But I have been here before
Many times since that April night
And I know I can climb out
And once again put grief back where it belongs
Until the next time.

Judith Baxter, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Blogger and Friend

Today my nemesis, Grief, decided to call.  Those of you who know me, know that I’m usually a positive, happy person, but just occasionally something drags me down to that terrible time.  Well, both terrible times as since I wrote my poem in August 2011, my later love has also died.

“Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide”.
Edna St Vincent Millay

It’s now 19 years since my Dashing Young Scotsman died and 19 months since The Architect died.   And yes, life is changed, and I’m now making yet another, totally different life.  Soon the grief will move back into the background where it belongs and the sun will rise tomorrow and all will be right in my world.

Thanks for reading.







“Where you used to be there, is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime
and falling into at night.
I miss you like hell.”
Edna St Vincent Millay

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Grief;  Missing You;  Learning to Soar in a Changing World;





















10 responses to “Grief – The Black Dog

  1. I’m so sorry Judith that the black dog has decided to move in with you again. I can obviously understand why though. It’s terrible to lose one great love from your life but catastrophic to lose two.
    The only comfort I can offer you have already mentioned and that is you will bounce back and be your usual positive self.
    At the end of next week it’s four years since my great love died so the black dog has also taken up residence here.. I agree with Edna St Vincent Millay,“Time does not bring relief; you all have lied, Who told me time would ease me of my pain! But time does allow you to display a better face to the world.
    Chin up as they say,
    xxx Sending Gigantic Hugs xxx


  2. Thinking of you, Judith. Take care, Jill xx


  3. Thank you for sharing your grief. I ache for you. It’s amazing that you can write about knowing this renewed bout of grief will pass. I hope it speeds by quickly. Like David, I’ll send hugs. (((())))


  4. I read your post with such tender feelings for you. Grief comes to us all and you are right. It strikes, leaves us bereft, and slinks aw


    • Sorry. To continue…
      It sinks away so we can recover for a while. Only to strike again when we least expect it.

      You are brave to face grief straight on. You are amazing. Grief doesn’t realize that it loses its power in the face of love. You are showing grief the truth of the power of love.


  5. Poignantly and beautifully expressed, Judith… for many of us.


  6. Sending hugs your way. Hoping you find happiness in the memories of being loved by two wonderful men. These poems say it all.


  7. Oh Judith. I think that expressing your struggle with loss and grief is really the way toward achieving a modicum of relief. After all, we do not want to lose the memories of our lost love ones. Nor do we want to forget the pain of losing them. Instead, we look for any way to keep them close to our hearts. This post is so beautifully expressed and anyone who has loved and lost will recognize that clenching of the heart.


  8. Grief visits when we least expect it and does not take prisoners. I am sorry it visited you today. But pleased that you will relegate it to where it belongs.


  9. towards the end Judith. I hope you enjoy it.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx


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