Questions

After she  left Greg. Sandy drove slowly around the streets on her way home  She thought about Greg and how lucky she was to have him still in her life.  So many of her friends had acrimonious divorces and didn’t speak to their ex husbands.  She knew that she and Greg would always be friends, and they had Ian and his boys as a further connection.

She also thought about what he had said, and about the email she would send to Barbara once she got home.

So engrossed was she in her thoughts that she almost missed the young cyclist who came barreling out of a driveway.  She shook herself and concentrated on the road the rest of the way home.

After making a pot of tea she sat down and wrote the email:

“Dear Barbara.  I was so pleased to meet you yesterday.  It brought back memories of a time that wasn’t happy for me but I was glad to see the outcome of those times.

Of course, I should like to know more about you.  You were a little vague dear about where you lived and worked and of your life when you were young.  Do you have any relatives, cousins, aunts or uncles, and if so, do you see them still?  So many unanswered questions.

Perhaps you would like to answer some of them in an email before we make plans to meet again.

You must understand that this whole thing has come as a shock to me after  it having been kept secret for so many years.  It has brought to life old wounds and feelings and  I need some time to collect myself.  I also want to make sure of my feelings towards you.

I do hope you don’t think I am distrusting you. It’s just that after so long there are many questions.  And I’m sure you have an equal number of questions to ask me.  Please feel free to do so and I shall do my best to answer them.

Looking forward to hearing from you again.

Regards, Sandy”.

She read it and rewrote it a couple of times before she sent it.  She didn’t want to upset Barbara but of course there were all the unanswered questions and evasions looming in her mind following yesterday’s meeting.

She copied it to Greg and then she rang him.

“Do you think she’ll be upset?” she asked him “Or will she understand that I’m just  being careful?

I’m just so scared that if she isn’t who she says she is, I’ll have been taken back to that terrible time, with all the wounds reopened for nothing.  I really do hope that she is my daughter.”

“I know you really want her to be your daughter but there are things you need to consider.  For instance have  you thought about  how she will fit into the family yet?” Greg asked.  “She certainly can’t think she could just turn up and become one of us or could she? And we need to find out what Ian really thinks about this development and the impact on his life and his family.

“He is our son and has been brought up thinking of himself as an only child. Imagine how he is trying to cope with a the possibility of a half sister coming into his life now.  And let’s remember that he is already upset that we never told him about your other child.

“I think that after you receive a response to your email, we should phone him together and discuss this as a family.  What do you think?”

“I think that’s a great idea.  I knew I should talk to you.  Thanks. I’ll call you when I hear from her” She said, putting down the receiver.

Then she sat thinking back to the time when she had become pregnant with the girl and the worry unhappiness then.  It was so very different to the time when she had become pregnant with Ian. Then it was all happiness.  She and Greg looked forward to the birth of the child, not knowing or caring whether it would be a boy or girl.  They just both knew that this child would be welcomed by both of them into their loving family.  And so it had been.  They showered their only child with love in a safe and secure family environment.  He knew how much he was loved.

And when it became obvious that there would be no more children, they became a tight knit family unit of three. Sandy felt quite sure that if Barbara was her daughter, then after a short time to get used to the idea, Ian would welcome her into the family.  But what Val would have to say about all this, Sandy couldn’t begin to imagine.  The wife/mother-in-law relationship was certainly easier now that they lived so far apart, but Sandy always felt that Val looked down on her considering herself better than Sandy.  Well she would just have to wait for a couple of days and then after talking to Ian again, would see what Val’s opinion was.

“It’s no use going back to yesterday
because I was a different person then” said Alice
Lewis Carol – Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Episode 11 in The Sandy Saga