And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud became more
painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin, Author 1903-1977
A few days ago we left Sandy pondering on the dilemma of whether to agree to meet a young woman claiming or asking if she could be, her lost daughter.
Sandy had given her child for adoption many years ago and had heard nothing about her from that time until she received an email asking whether she could be the mother of this unknown woman. Now….
Sandy awoke the next morning with no answers and no closer to making a decision as to whether or not she should agree to meet the woman. What if she met her and they took an instant dislike to each other; then old wounds would have been opened for nothing. What if it was a trick and how had this woman tracked her down anyway. She had spent a sleepless night with these thoughts worrying around in her head.
But what to do? She remembered having met an ex Nun at the Women’s Resource Centre when she had dropped off some clothes that no longer fit her. She had a long talk with the ex Nun, Cathy and discussed maybe volunteering at the Centre. Perhaps she would be a person to whom she could talk.
She quickly finished her breakfast and set off for the Women’s Centre before she could change her mind. When she arrived she found that Cathy, the Nun, was in the office and appeared pleased to see Sandy again. She readily agreed to speak with her in private but was surprised that it wasn’t about volunteering that Sandy had come to see her.
She listened without interruption to the story at the end of which she sat back and thought before making any comment. The first thing Cathy asked was whether Sandy was prepared for the past be be brought to life. If this was her daughter then her son and his family would have to know as would her friends. Was she ready for this?
Of course,this was one of the many questions that kept Sandy awake through the night. How would her son react to the fact that his mother had a child with another man and had her adopted. She had no answer to that.
If she was prepared for all this to happen then Cathy suggested she respond to the email asking for birth dates and any information the young woman had about her birth. Perhaps she knew of the home where she had been born. Cathy also suggested asking for a photo so that any likeness could be recognised. Sandy agreed to this and said she would send the response as soon as she got home.
As she was preparing to leave, Cathy made her an offer to accompany Sandy to a meeting if one was to happen. Sandy felt so much better for this offer and thanked the ex Nun profusely. She left the Centre with a much lighter heart and with a plan on how to move forward.