Lucky lucky me

As I have said before, I have lived a blessed life.  An easy childhood with loving, non abusive parents, two supportive sisters,a loving and caring husband and two decent children so the thought of physical and/or mental abuse is very strange to me.

I started on this rant months ago after  reading a post from Elizabeth at Mirth and Motivation entitled My Name is Luka.  I hadn’t heard the song she quotes but it certainly brought tears to my eyes when I listened to it.

Several months ago I wrote on this subject – Excess Baggage – and lamented on the plight of many children here in New Zealand.  We have one of the worst records of child abuse in the Western world and we are so tiny – 4.1 million at the last census.  Note the 2011 census wasn’t carried out because of the devastation caused in the February Christchurch earthquake.  The census has just been completed and it will be interesting to see how many more people have chosen to make their homes here.

It is estimated approximately 15 percent of children are born at risk of abuse, and over 80,000 children witness family violence each year, according to the Child Protection Services (CPS).  How many of those children as they grow up will say (as Luka says in Susan Vega’s song)

“And they only hit until you cry
After that, you don’t ask why
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore
You just don’t argue anymore…

It’s time for us all, wherever we live to stand up and say that this must not be allowed to continue.  While we read about the abuse we hear little or nothing from our law makers as to how we can curb this growing violence.  What can we as members of the general public do to stop these alarming figures from rising even higher?  We can be aware of what is happening around us and if we do suspect abuse in a family then we can and should report it to the Police.  We are assured that confidentiality will be maintained and perhaps, we could be instrumental in helping one small child get away from the regular, or even sporadic abuse.

End of today’s rant.  And an update on the Beautiful Miss Bella.  For the first time today she was left in the house alone for a couple of hours.  When I returned she was sitting on the living room window sill patiently for me.  And what a welcome I received.

Later in the afternoon we went for a short walk in the dog park where she encountered several new friends.  Well I hope they will become friends in time.  I am continuing to be entranced by this lively little clockwork toy that I have let into my life.

Dogs have given us their absolute all.
We are the centre of their universe.
We are the focus of their love and faith and trust.  They serve us in return for scraps.
It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.
Roger Caras, president emeritus of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.


18 responses to “Lucky lucky me

  1. How can anyone hurt a child in anyway. Even when we were young there were children who did not have food and were beeaten into regularly. I know I am a good Mother because of the way our parents loved and looked after us. Im so glad your new lady is loving you and helping to fill the gap left


    • Thank you sister. Yes it is quite unbelievable to me how anyone can hurt a small child whether physically or mentally. We were lucky to have our parents and each other when we were growing up.


  2. What is the thinking of why child abuse is so high in New Zealand? It is such a beautiful place, it’s hard to imagine such horrible things happening there. Obviously, we have plenty of it here. Being aware of what is happening around us is so important, and not hiding our heads in the sand but speaking out is a must. Glad your little girl was so well behaved when you left her!


    • Who ever knows what makes a person abuse a child. There is much talk here of it being learned behaviour, passing from one generation to the next. And I guess in different societies acceptable punishment for a child differs greatly. Some people are frightened of speaking out and after the event we hear that somebody was uncomfortable with what was going on in a house/family. This is when we must speak out as you say.


  3. People who hurt children and animals are the lowest of the low. The sad thing is many of them were also abused as children but that doesn’t excuse them. Plenty of people who were abused go one to live exemplary lives. I think its time we stopped focusing on helping those who abuse and maim and instead support those who don’t.


    • Oh well said Susan. There are many initiatives here to supposedly change the behaviour of these abusers but there is little or no research carried out on whether or not they are successful.


  4. Abuse is a terrible thing and it comes in all forms without prejudice. It is a sad and horrible fact. Those who have stopped the cycle when born into generations of it are to be commended. Why can’t the world just love one another?
    Love your quote about dogs…so very true!


  5. winsomebella

    Thank you Judith, for speaking of child abuse and the importance of not turning a blind eye to the issue.


    • It is one of my pet hates as you can see. There are many well qualified people looking for a solution here but so far it seems to be eluding them.


  6. I guess child abuse is a possibility wherever there are children. So sad.
    I’ve always liked Caras’ quote. To be so loved! It does my heart good to envision her welcoming you home.


    • It is so awful to read of the degradation some children are subject to, both physical and mental. Here in New Zealand we do have an anti-smacking law but I suspect those people who abuse their children will pay no heed to it.


  7. Abuse can have many forms. In my formative teenage years I suffered because my parents acted as though they were enemies. I didn’t feel unloved or neglected. But still, the hostilities my parents showed each other hurt me none the less. They didn’t live together. So there was no physical abuse. My mother wouldn’t talk to me about the issues. She tried to prevent my father writing me letters. I had them sent to a postal address.
    I had a very good childhood. But my teenage years during the post WW II period were horrible. I often wonder what drives people to abuse children? What sort of problems do these people have who have so little self control?


    • Oh Uta. I hate to hear or read of children caught in the middle of their parents’ anger and frustration. I am glad that you found Peter and that you now have a good life.


  8. I just hope and wish that children all over the world may be from abuse.I want them to experience the beauty of living a life free from harm of other people..very moving and sentimental post.Judith..=)


  9. I know the song but I obviously never listened properly. Maybe I never do. Such a sad world that articles like yours are not unusual.


    • Child abuse is one of my pet hates and I find I have to rant about it from time to time. It is a major problem here in our corner of the world as it is in most places. We all have to be vigilant and if we suspect something is amiss we must take steps to get some intervention for the child.


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