When we lose somebody we love, certain days take on special meanings for us. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc all become so much more than just days. These are the days when we don’t want to be with other people and just want to wallow in memories and maybe self-pity. But after many years of this, one suddenly realises that yes these are just days.
Today is my Dashing Young Scotsman’s birthday. Had he lived he would be 83 years old. I ask myself how would I feel living with an 83-year-old and answer great. Every year on this day since his sudden death in 1998, I have spent time only with the family. In the beginning, the small boys helped bring me out of the “slough of despair” and I was so very grateful to them and their parents.
But yesterday I decided that enough was enough. November 1 is just another day and as I remember my DYS every day of the year, I don’t need to make this day any different or any more special.
But this is a special day as this is the first day of the rest of my life. and so…A few months ago I wrote a poem which I think sums up where I am now and how I choose to live the rest of my life –
My lot is cast
In different places
Not beside the river or the ocean
But in the city with its life and vitality.
Not in the distant years of my youth
Nor the busy years of family life
But the peaceful years of time for me
To enjoy friends and family.
Time to investigate new things
New activities and new friends
Time to be me.
My rainbow
I choose how I will spend the rest of my life 
I realize this is not the point of this blog yet when I first saw this picture I was immediately reminded of God’s promise not to again flood the earth with water. He is true to His Word.
http://preachercarter.wordpress.com/
LikeLike
Thank you for dropping by, reading and commenting.
LikeLike
That’s a beautiful poem, and I admire your determination and courage in making a change. I know your attitude and spirit will open a new world to you, and I’m sure your DYS would be very proud of you.
LikeLike
Thank you for the comment. .
LikeLike
Love it! Yes and … one foot down before the other comes up!
LikeLike
Thank you for dropping in Maurice and for the comment. I am going over to see what you are up to now, 🙂
LikeLike
Hurrah Judith for living each day being the person you want to be whilst harboring sweet memories of your Dashing Young Scotsman. You are an inspiration.
LikeLike
Thanks Dor and guess what, the world didn’t come to an end because I saw and spoke with folk other than my family. 🙂
LikeLike
Honest and compellingly true…thx for sharing.
Toni
LikeLike
It’s great to be able to get it out there in the blogosphere but at the same time a little scary, Thanks for the comment. I have been over to yours and am now following you.
LikeLike
Truly a sign of a healing heart, I’d say. It is said time heals all wounds, and I believe that to be true. It’s just a different amount of time for each individual. I like your poem.
LikeLike
It’s truly amazing how we think we have moved on and then something like a special day comes along and we are almost back where we started. I am sure that my DYS would prefer me to move on with the rest of my life. 🙂
I hope you weathered that storm without too much upheaval, I haven’t read any blogs yet today so I don’t know how everybody fared.
LikeLike
You have such a wonderful attitude. Bless you for sharing. I love the poem and the rainbow.
LikeLike
Thank you Darlene. Were you affected by that darned storm?
LikeLike
Thank you for your kind comment on my blog post today. It seems we lost our husbands around the same time of the year. I was 32 when my husband died. It took several years for me to realize that, that chapter of my life was now closed. I had to turn the page, so to speak, and start a new chapter. A new beginning. A new normal.
Life is indeed good again…..but, my heart always is tender towards those who have gone through grief and understand loss.
Saying a special prayer for you today:)
LikeLike
Well we did have more years together – 41 and I was 60 when he died. But it doesn’t matter how long you have together or how old you are when it happens, the pain is indescribable and the loss so very hard to bear.
I am so glad that you are now in a good space once again, although life will never be the same without Kennis. He will always be with you.
LikeLike
for some reason your posts are not showing up in my Reader. grrrrrrrr. I’m glad I came by here today , to celebrate a new Nov 1 with you and to be reminded of the wisdom and grace you bring to those of us here in the blogosphere.
LikeLike
Oh Joss – what a lovely thing to say. I am glad I found you all those months ago in the blogosphere and am proud to call you friend. 🙂
LikeLike
Mother died Sept 17 at 88. I was her home hospice nurse for those last 5 weeks. Parents have lived with me last 10 + years. Everyday is Sept 17. Your idea is wise and sensible. Will take me a very long time.
LikeLike
Well yes Carl. As you can see it has taken me many years to reach this point. But as I said as I think of him every day November 1 doesn’t have to be a special day.
LikeLike
Dear Judith, thanks for your concern about the storm. Here on the westcoast of Canada we did not feel the effects of the storm. We did however have an earthquake. It was north of us so we were not affected but I guess you are never quite safe are you?
LikeLike
Goodness Darlene. Mother Nature is really shaking her skirts at us. I am glad that you are all well and didn’t suffer either from the storm or the earthquake,.
LikeLike
You wrote: My lot is cast
My eyes, playing tricks on me, read: My cat is lost
And then I remembered that Lottie is a dog. 😆
Glad that you’ve decided to reclaim November 1st for yourself.
LikeLike
Oh Nancy how funny. When I wrote the post My Lot is Cast way back in February Sally Ann at Photographic Memories made exactly the same comment. – https://growingyoungereachday.wordpress.com/2012/02/15/my-lot-is-cast/.
LikeLike
Thanks for the link! That’s funny that we did the same thing.
Often our eyes only care about correct order at the start and finish of words and phrases. We skip over the order (or disorder) of middle letters.
LikeLike
This is a beautiful and uplifting post. I love the poem and rainbow… I guess we move on when we are ready… it does take time. 🙂 Thank you for checking in during the Hurricane… your kind wishes were appreciated!
LikeLike
Thanks Elizabeth. So glad you are all well. TAke care and thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
LikeLike
You are such a role model for me, Judith, of how to live with grace. Your strength of spirit is an inspiration.
LikeLike
Susan – what can I say except thank you, thank you.
LikeLike
Here’s hoping your “another day” was a good one. 🙂
LikeLike
Your poem is beautiful but it scares me. I can’t imagine a life without my own “DY.” I don’t know how I would be if/when these circumstances do arise. And I quickly banish it from my consciousness. It’s too frightening.
Thanks for dropping by my blog. I so admire your philosophy. One day, I hope to be just as wise.
LikeLike
Yes it’s scary even after all these years. But unfortunately, it doesn’t come with a choice. One has to just keep going as best one can. Yes, I am alone but not often lonely. I have my family and friends and of course, so importantly, my memories of all those years we shared.
Thank you for your lovely comment. May 2013 be a really happy year for you and your family. 🙂
LikeLike