It’s Just Another Day

When we lose somebody we love, certain days take on special meanings for us.  Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc all become so much more than just days.  These are the days when we don’t want to be with other people and  just want to wallow in memories and maybe self-pity.  But after many years of this, one suddenly realises that yes these are just days.

Today is my Dashing Young Scotsman’s birthday.  Had he lived he would be 83 years old.  I ask myself how would I feel living with an 83-year-old and answer great.  Every year on this day since his sudden death in 1998, I have spent time only with the family.  In the beginning the small boys helped bring me out of the “slough of despair” and I was so very grateful to them and their parents.

But yesterday I decided that enough was enough.  November 1 is just another day and as I remember my DYS every day of the year, I don’t need to make this day any different or any more special.

But this is a special day as this is the first day of the rest of my life. and so…A few months ago I wrote a poem which I think sums up where I am now and how I choose to live the rest of my life –

My lot is cast
In different places
Not beside the river or the ocean
But in the city with its life and vitality.
Not in the distant years of my youth
Nor the busy years of family life
But the peaceful years of time for me
To enjoy friends and family.
Time to investigate new things
New activities and new friends
Time to be me.

 And here’s my rainbow to help those of you battling with the after effects of Sandy.  My thoughts are with you all in this dire time.
Rainbow

My rainbow

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32 thoughts on “It’s Just Another Day

  1. That’s a beautiful poem, and I admire your determination and courage in making a change. I know your attitude and spirit will open a new world to you, and I’m sure your DYS would be very proud of you.

    • It’s great to be able to get it out there in the blogosphere but at the same time a little scary, Thanks for the comment. I have been over to yours and am now following you.

  2. Truly a sign of a healing heart, I’d say. It is said time heals all wounds, and I believe that to be true. It’s just a different amount of time for each individual. I like your poem.

    • It’s truly amazing how we think we have moved on and then something like a special day comes along and we are almost back where we started. I am sure that my DYS would prefer me to move on with the rest of my life. 🙂
      I hope you weathered that storm without too much upheaval, I haven’t read any blogs yet today so I don’t know how everybody fared.

  3. Thank you for your kind comment on my blog post today. It seems we lost our husbands around the same time of the year. I was 32 when my husband died. It took several years for me to realize that, that chapter of my life was now closed. I had to turn the page, so to speak, and start a new chapter. A new beginning. A new normal.
    Life is indeed good again…..but, my heart always is tender towards those who have gone through grief and understand loss.
    Saying a special prayer for you today:)

    • Well we did have more years together – 41 and I was 60 when he died. But it doesn’t matter how long you have together or how old you are when it happens, the pain is indescribable and the loss so very hard to bear.
      I am so glad that you are now in a good space once again, although life will never be the same without Kennis. He will always be with you.

  4. for some reason your posts are not showing up in my Reader. grrrrrrrr. I’m glad I came by here today , to celebrate a new Nov 1 with you and to be reminded of the wisdom and grace you bring to those of us here in the blogosphere.

  5. Mother died Sept 17 at 88. I was her home hospice nurse for those last 5 weeks. Parents have lived with me last 10 + years. Everyday is Sept 17. Your idea is wise and sensible. Will take me a very long time.

    • Well yes Carl. As you can see it has taken me many years to reach this point. But as I said as I think of him every day November 1 doesn’t have to be a special day.

  6. Dear Judith, thanks for your concern about the storm. Here on the westcoast of Canada we did not feel the effects of the storm. We did however have an earthquake. It was north of us so we were not affected but I guess you are never quite safe are you?

    • Goodness Darlene. Mother Nature is really shaking her skirts at us. I am glad that you are all well and didn’t suffer either from the storm or the earthquake,.

  7. You wrote: My lot is cast
    My eyes, playing tricks on me, read: My cat is lost

    And then I remembered that Lottie is a dog. 😆

    Glad that you’ve decided to reclaim November 1st for yourself.

  8. This is a beautiful and uplifting post. I love the poem and rainbow… I guess we move on when we are ready… it does take time. 🙂 Thank you for checking in during the Hurricane… your kind wishes were appreciated!

  9. Your poem is beautiful but it scares me. I can’t imagine a life without my own “DY.” I don’t know how I would be if/when these circumstances do arise. And I quickly banish it from my consciousness. It’s too frightening.

    Thanks for dropping by my blog. I so admire your philosophy. One day, I hope to be just as wise.

    • Yes it’s scary even after all these years. But unfortunately, it doesn’t come with a choice. One has to just keep going as best one can. Yes, I am alone but not often lonely. I have my family and friends and of course, so importantly, my memories of all those years we shared.
      Thank you for your lovely comment. May 2013 be a really happy year for you and your family. 🙂

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