Recently Val Erde aka ArtyOld Bird asked “What would you say to a fictional character”. she referred us to Letters With Character and suggested we try our hand at writing to a fictional character. Well, Mr Toad has long been a favourite of mine, so here goes….
My dear Mr Toad
I am compelled to write to you regarding your recent quite erratic behaviour.
For many years I have followed your progress through various adventures and yes, cheered you on for the most part. But now I am becoming concerned at your blatant disregard for not only your own safety but that of several of your close friends. Of course, here I refer to Ratty and Mole.
These two (and occasionally Badger and Otter) have stood beside you through thick and thin. Sticking up for you when everybody else was against you, and how have you repaid them? They have been hounded by the Stoats and Weasels, (the Wild Wooders), even having had their own houses broken into by these vagabonds. And you did nothing.
While you were breaking out of jail and being pursued around the countryside, the Stoats and Weasels were harassing your friends, And the only thing that Mole and Ratty were guilty of was that of being your friend. On several occasions you have ruined the clothes lent to you so generously by Ratty and have also lost him his boat.
Ratty has reminded me that while you were riding about the country in expensive motor cars and galloping proudly on blood horses and breakfasting on the fat of the land, your two steadfast friends, Mole and Badger were camping out in the open watching over your house and contriving ways of getting your property back to you. I think at the very least you owe these two good friends an enormous debt of thanks even if they weren’t very successful.
And breaking out of gaol was probably the most foolhardy thing you could have done. Oh I know that being in gaol was not comforting or comfortable to you, but really. The gaolers daughter took pity on you and tried to improve your lot. It was she who arranged for you to escape and how have you repaid her? You have complained about the manner in which you had to effect your escape. Shame on you.
So Mr Toad, may I ask you to reflect on these things and being the gentleman you are, make redress to these close friends of yours. They are all feeling pretty well put upon at present and I know each would welcome a few kind words from you.
Yours very sincerely
Note Mr Toad is a character from The wind in the Willows
by Kenneth Graham.
- Mr. Toad’s Lucky Ride (chezlounge.typepad.com)
- The Wind In The Willows re-released as smartphone app (thesun.co.uk)