Question time

White clock with words Time for Questions on its face

Many questions that arise these days were never even contemplated when my parents were alive.  And if they were still alive Mother would be 100 and Father 99.

A recent post from Winsomebella posed such a question.  What to wear to a family gathering when your ex husband’s new wife/partner/lover is also to be there.  Well of course, when my parents were young divorce was never spoken of.  In the years of my childhood we only knew one divorced woman and she eventually married an uncle much to the dismay of the rest of the family.  I am sure that my mother only welcomed them into our house to annoy the other family members.

And of course the other side to Winsombella’s question – what to wear if you are the new wife/partner/lover and about to meet your new love’s family at a family gathering, en masse  and maybe for  the first time.  I suggest that this person has the bigger problem.  I can imagine the hours of contemplation given to what to wear.  In all probability the family are on the side of the ex-wife and they may be critical of this person, maybe even blaming her for the break-up of the marriage.

And if she was indeed the reason for the marriage disintegrating well…Although I must say here, that this person could not have been the reason.  She may well have been the impetus or maybe even the catalyst, but any marriage that ends in divorce must surely have some problems prior to another party coming onto the scene.  As an aside – I am in no way an expert on the question of divorce.  I was one of the lucky ones.  My marriage lasted for 41 years until the death of my husband.  So these comments are my own and made from watching other marriages wither and die.

But back to the question, and it probably applies equally to men or women.  Our blogging friend Winsomebella has reached the stage in life where she knows and likes herself and we look forward to a post on the baptism complete with photographs of this lovely, serene grandmother.

I have yet another book to introduce to you.  It is “365 Reflections on Grandmothers”.   More on this book in another post but for now, to our blogging friend Winsomebella I give her this quote:

“Grandmothers don’t have to do anything,
except be there”.  Patsy Gray

Bouquet of roses

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20 responses to “Question time

  1. heh heh. I’m kinda glad that I’m old enough now to just wear what I’m happy with and to heck with anyone else.

  2. I loved her post – it was thoughtful and showed the grace she possesses. I’m sure that the event, if it has indeed occurred, was great and whatever she wore reflected her style perfectly.

  3. Wear something COMFORTABLE! 😀

  4. Thanks for sharing Winsomebella’s post, Judith. I commend her courage.
    My Mom always said, “Wear something clean and neat.” I’ll add to my Mom’s saying by including ‘comfortable’.

  5. I dropped into Winsomebella’s post, thanks for sharing it.
    I would recommend something SHE feels good in, if you feel good in something your look good in it. 🙂

  6. Hi Judith. Thanks for your unvarnished and unbiased analysis of divorce, other parties, etc. I haven’t time to check out the links but will do so later. It just happens that I have one of those family gatherings this afternoon and your wise words struck a chord. Thank you.

  7. You are so wonderful for pointing out other great bloggers, Judith. Winsomebella’s blog is another favorite of mine, and the post you are referring to is so well written, as all of her work is. She doesn’t need to worry about what to wear. She is beautiful inside and out, and that inner beauty can’t help but shine out.

    • Aren’t we lucky to have met so many great people in this blogging world.
      She is a favourite of mine too and I look forward to her posts (as I do yours). 😀

  8. Thank you Judith for an inspiring quote and for encouraging words. I just returned from the baptism and will be sharing more soon!

  9. Nice post, and I may indeed someday have to attend some event or other with my ex-in laws and the woman who replaced me. I think I’d wear something which makes me feel confident, whatever it is.
    As for your analysis of marriages breaking up with other parties involved, I have my own biased view on this: I am a spouse left high and dry for another woman, and it is just a horrible way to do end a marriage.
    I dare say all marriages have their rough spots, their moments of feeling wrong, and this year has taught me that looking for solace in someone else’s arms is never the right answer.
    Right, I’m down from my soap box now, and hope you have a wonderful weekend away!! 🙂

    • Thanks for the response. As I said I was fortunate in that I never was involved in divorce but both of my sisters were and several of my friends also. I know from observation how hard that is and how long the hurt can go on.
      The solace in somebody else’s arms may be right for that moment but as you say is probably never the right answer. 🙂

  10. I like Pasty Gray’s quote. You are the Quote Queen. 🙂 I love your supportive post.

  11. And I love being a grandma. Thanks for the Quote Queen comment. 😀

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