I Talk To People

“Nothing is a waste of time
if you use the experience wisely.”
Auguste Rodin

Among my favourite bloggers is Susan from Coming East.  I really believe that we live parallel lives.  Today she blogged about earworms.  I wrote a post on this subject several months ago when I was new to blogging.

A couple of days ago Susan wrote about her delight in talking to other people.

I too love talk to people.  I make instant friendships and am still in contact with people who I met many years ago in places as diverse as ferries, hotels, supermarket carparks and restaurants.  Not to mention those I met at school functions and other gatherings.  I have a lifelong friend that I met in the supermarket carpark, another than I met on the Inter-island ferry between the north and south islands in New Zealand and yet others with whom I keep in contact many years after we met on holiday in various parts of the world.  And now of course, I have my blogging friends.

I seem to be the person that people talk to.  When we are out for dinner within a few minutes I have heard from the waitress where she comes from, what she is doing here in Wellington, who her parents are and where she will go from here once her visa expires.

Today I met a young man from India and again, within a few minutes I had his life story.

I do know that it is because I am interested in people and usually ask the first (maybe innocuous) question, that they unfold and tell me their life stories.  And I guess it is because of this that I took to being a life coach with such ease.  I am interested in people.  I love to hear about them; about their lives and about their dreams; about their wishes and hopes for their future.

I am fortunate in that I have always had the ability to make friends easily.  My mother used to say that I could/would be friends with the devil himself.  As I have aged I have grown more selective about the friends I have made, but the ability to talk and communicate with others has grown year by year.

When they were growing up, my children were sometimes embarrassed at their mother speaking and thereby interacting with strangers, but now they accept that this is who I am.

So I shall continue to talk to strangers.  I shall continue to learn about them and perhaps make friends with them.  Isn’t this part of what being human is all about?

The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —
Of cabbages — and kings —
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”
“But wait a bit,” the Oysters cried,
“Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!”
“No hurry!” said the Carpenter.
They thanked him much for that.”
Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)
Best friends

Real friendship

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31 thoughts on “I Talk To People

  1. I enjoyed both posts from you and Susan. I am not as shy as I was when I was younger, parenthood changed this for me, so I do talk to strangers and have met many interesting people this way. I also believe I am role modeling this positive behavior to my children. I don’t want them to be afraid of strangers! Strangers aren’t bad people!

    • I agree Jenny – so often we hear parents warning children against strangers. And yes, some are bad people but as parents we strive to show our children the difference. Thanks for the comment.

  2. It is a blessing to be so natural at this. Occassionally I will meet someone who is easy to talk to and we will become instant friends. Most of the time people are standoffish and I am socially awkward. My husband, like you, makes friends easily. We think it has to do with him moving around as a kid as, quite the opposite I did all my growing in exactly one place. Like you, however, the friends I do make are lifelong. Rarely do I let go of someone I have allowed into my life. Great post. 🙂

    • My two children both take after me and make friends easily. In their case, like your husband, they were moved around the world and put into different places and so had to make friends again and again.
      Cherish your friends. they are all important. 🙂

  3. It seems to come naturally for some people to be so engaging.I wonder if it’s nature vs nurture. I have to work at it and remind myself to slow down and ask people questions because I’m always in a hurry. But I know that it is the relationships we build that make all the difference in our lives.

    • It just comes naturally to me and I wonder whether it is nature or nurture. I am not aware of my sisters interacting with people so soon, so maybe it is nature. I think I take after my father in this respect. 🙂

  4. Good on you, Judith. 😀

    I talk to people all the time when out and about . . . sometimes we really connect. Other times, we part ways. Either way, it makes for some interesting conversations.

  5. I’m like you Judith I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone anywhere and really enjoy getting to know people.
    For many however it is not as easy to do and I don’t know whether it is nature or nurture. Personality does seem to play a big part.

    More retiring types are often very good listeners and pick up on all manner of interesting titbits. Our diversity is so important.
    Interesting post….

    • Well I also learned to listen when I was gaining my life coaching experience, with you and others. Thanks for commenting. Enjoy this lovely Saturday. 🙂

  6. I always wish I could be friendly toward people in this way, just be able to strike up an instant conversation, but I find I’m generally too shy outside of my job. I’m talking to people, selling things and doing customer service all day, so maybe I just like to be quiet when I’m not there! I’m pretty friendly with people once I get to know them, though!

    • You probably are exhausted talking to people all day in your job and so appreciate the quiet when you get home. When I sold real estate I often came home feeling talked out!

  7. I seem to meet people who are always looking for directions. I have “OnStar” written on my head somewhere.

    Where I live I really don’t want to meet people. They’re very close minded and don’t like outsiders. I can always tell I’m talking to a local as opposed to someone who is from my previous home state. The local person conversation only lasts about 2 minutes. The person from my previous home state will talk to me for at least a 1/2 hour. And it’s only until we’ve been talking for about 10 minutes that I find out they’re from my home state.

    • My thing is wherever in the world I am people ask me to take their photos. Not knowing a word of Japanese I had cameras thrust at me by smiling faces. Not hard to see what they wanted.

      It’s interesting how people react to friendly approaches in different areas. I haven’t come across this but as you say these people don’t like outsiders. It’s their loss that they wont get to know you Elizabeth. 🙂

  8. My grandma was someone who would talk to anyone, anywhere. It took forever to leave church on Sundays because she gabbed with so many. Okay, it was probably only half an hour, but it seemed like forever.

    I don’t take after her. I am shy and a bit awkward, so it takes me a while to strike up conversation, if I even get the nerve to do it.

    I’m glad you have a way with people. I’m sure you’re a joy to be around!

    • Peter thanks for the comment. I think this blogging world has opened up the opportunity to meet so many interesting people doing different things in different part of the world.

  9. Thanks so much, Judith, for mentioning me in your post and for the lovely things you said about me. You, too, are one of my favorite bloggers. That’s the downside of blogging for me, though, that I meet people virtually that I would love to meet in person, but it isn’t possible. As I’ve said many times before, I’d love to have you put the kettle on and I’ll be there for a chat. Maybe someday…you never know!

    • Well Susan, the kettle is full and plugged in just waiting for your call for me to push the on button. Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet some of our favourite bloggers in person. I don’t think we would stop speaking for a week. 😀

  10. I chuckled when I read the part about embarrassing your children. I’ve done that many times. One comment from my past still rings true: “Jeez, Mom. You would talk to a fence post.”

  11. Judith – I am not an easy talker, although I try to engage strangers. The funny thing is that most of my friends are talkers and I suppose that is how they found me. And my friendships tend to be long – very long indeed. I’m glad you are the talker here!

    • You might not be a talker but you share your thoughts and doings with us regularly. So thanks for that. And of course, those of us who are talkers do need listeners!

  12. Pingback: Just Thinking | I choose how I will spend the rest of my life

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