Daily Archives: May 9, 2011

The Day After Mother’s Day

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”  ~Washington Irving,  American author, essayist, biographer and historian  1783– 1859

Mother and me 1995

With Mother shortly before she died

I have read lots of lovely tributes to mothers from other bloggers.  And they were certainly worth reading.

Unfortunately, my Mother and I didn’t have the greatest relationship once I grew up.  I guess because I was the middle daughter and my elder sister was sick (first polio and then rheumatic fever) and my younger sister was ‘the baby’ I quickly grew to rely on myself.  Not that my Mother wasn’t a loving and caring person, we just never developed the close relationship that each of my sisters had with her and from reading yesterday’s posts, many of you obviously have or had with your mother.

Because of my independence I didn’t involve her in my life as much as she would have liked.  I was the first to marry and move away from home.  Having said that,  as my husband was away quite a lot at the time, I stayed with my parents in the weeks leading up to my daughter’s birth and Mother was there for me.

And even though I moved away from London, she was there when I had a couple of miscarriages, coming up to Scotland to look after me and her granddaughter.  She also came to stay when I had my son.  This was her way of showing how much she loved me.

We kept in touch over the years of my travels around the world, by letter and the occasional (very expensive) telephone call.  Wednesday was my day for writing letters home – both to my parents and my husband’s father.  I have carbon copies (are you old enough to remember carbon paper) of many of those letters.

Thank you

And once I thought it was time to say thank you to both of my parents for the love and support they had given me.  So I wrote them a letter telling them how much their love meant to me, and hoping that my children would be able to say how great their childhood had been because of their parents.  Mother never commented on the letter but after she died Father told me how pleased she had been to receive it.

And as I have grown older and look back on my life, I know there are ways in which I could have shown her how much I loved her.  But I didn’t and while she looks happy to be with me in the photo she was suffering Alzheimer’s and didn’t know who I was.

So to all you people out there who still have your Mothers and Fathers, take the time to tell them how much they mean to you.  It’s too late when you are attending their funeral – Let them know when they are alive that you appreciate all the care and love they bestowed upon you.

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead my midnight.  Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster.  Your life will never be the same again.”  Og Mandino, American Author, 1923 – 1996


Photo - Ed Dear