You Do Need Friends

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You’ve got a friend -Carol King click link for the video of Carol singing her song.

Today’s post was prompted because yesterday I helped a friend clear out the cupboards of a man who died recently.  The reason she was involved in this for her late client was that he didn’t have friends.  He had lots of acquaintances, business associates and such but no friends.  No family available to do this chore so it fell to us.  I thought then of the man I had met and how sad that he had so few friends.

The church was full for his funeral but the eulogies were given by business associates and only one family member was present.

So here we were clearing out the detritus of a long life that had been well lived but mostly alone.  He had godchildren but no children of his own.  He shared his associates’ family lives.

And then I read this blog entitled Behind the Scenes and I began to think of friends IRL (in real life) and friends met through the blog-sphere.  There is a well-known quote “People come into your life for a reason. a season or a lifetime” and following this I found this fantastic video.

Doesn’t that say all we need to know on the subject of friends.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need.  They have come into your life to  assist you through a difficulty period and to provide support and aid physically and emotionally. They are there for the reason and the time you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this relationship will come to an end  Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes because of something they have said or done and you need to take a stand, then they walk away.  Here we recognize that their work is done and we move on,

Then people come into your life for a SEASON to help you grow and learn.  It is well-known that ‘when the student is ready the teacher will appear’.  They bring their experiences to you and may teach you things you have never experienced.  Usually they bring you joy and often peace.  This is real; enjoy it but only for that Season.

LIFETIME friendships/relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you  build upon.  Accept the lesson, love the person for what and who they are and what they have taught you, and use what you have learned in all areas of your life.

“Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.”-Jewish saying

I have very few Lifetime Friends but I treasure them all.  I have many friends for a reason and again treasure them all.  I have had friends for only a season also.  But some ‘friends’ are fair weather friends and are not there when we need them.  They very quickly show their true selves and then walk away.  I quickly get over the hurt they cause and rejoice in my true friends.

My true friends are Lifetime Friends.  They teach me lifetime lessons and I choose which to take on board and use what I have learned in living my life.  Goodness that sounds as if I have my Life Coach hat on.

And I love – Love maybe blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Enjoy your friends, laugh with them, cry with them, dance with them and treasure them.

“When it’s too hard to look behind at the past and it’s too difficult to look forward to the future – Look to the side and you will see a friend” Judith Baxter, friend, grandmother, mother and blogger

Miss Lotte and her best friend


“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend.”
– Albert Camus,1913 – 1960, French Algerian author, journalist, and key philosopher.


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29 responses to “You Do Need Friends

  1. Judith,
    This is beautiful! I have shared this post will all of my dear friends that I am thankful to have in my life.
    Jenny

  2. Jenny thank you for that. Our friends are very dear to us and we must look after them and make time for them. With your busy busy life you must sometimes have trouble fitting in your friends. But friendship is worth the effort.

  3. I don’t have much trouble fitting in time for my friends. They are at the top of my list of things to do. I have book club friends, bible study friends, and my “mama” friends, sometimes these friends overlap into my skiing, running and biking time. They each have a special place in my heart and are just as you said, worth the effort!

  4. I had a teacher who always stressed in life that their are no “solos”.

  5. Your pups are adorable! Definitely an “odd” couple. I suppose they just portray physically how we as women are in relationships. Very different, yet sometimes, it just works 🙂 I love the cat and dog video; our pups and farm Kitty do the same thing outside on the deck. So much fun to watch them!

    Loved your first photo – you are blessed!

  6. We moved here two years ago from a place we had lived for nearly 30 years. I made many dear friends there over the years, friends I thought would be life-long friends. But, except for two of them, no one has kept in touch, even though I’ve tried. In contrast, the friends I left in Connecticut over 33 years ago are truly my life-long friends. We grew up together and went to school together. We will always be there for each other. Old friends are the best friends! Great post!

    • I still have one very dear friend who lives in Toronto, We met 40 years ago when we both arrived in Montreal with husbands knowing nobody. We have kept in touch visiting each other when the opportunity arose. Another long time friend goes back to when I first arrived in NZ again knowing nobody.
      But I agree it’s hard when you try to keep the friendship alive and meet no response. But no doubt you will make new friends and just occasionally one of those new friends will become a lifetime friend.
      Thanks for dropping by.

  7. One thing that I didn’t put in my post (thanks for the link, by the way) because I just wasn’t aware of it consciously at the time, was that I’m quite worried about one of those real life friends I mentioned. I think she would have contacted me if she could, which makes me wonder if she has indeed died or if her husband has.

    Some of your post feels ‘right’ to me, Judith, but I personally find life much more complex than the spiritual perspective of it.

    • Hello again Val and thanks for the comment. I can tell that you worry about your friend – is there somebody else who you could call who could put your mind at rest as to whether she or her husband has died. Then you may make your decision as to whether or not to keep trying to connect with her (assuming she is still alive).

  8. I love this post…it rings true on all counts. And yes, most of all the teacher will appear when we are ready. I have many acquaintances but few real friends. My brother recently died and it’s been an eye opener to who my friends really are…the ones who will really talk to me rather than spout scripture to me, the ones from church who say nothing at all, and the dear ones from childhood and school (though many miles pass between us) were right by my side, along with my “real” friends and even my blog friends. It has helped me clarify the categories, and yes, I do realize some people just aren’t good with emotions, but my friends know me to be an extremely emotional person. I think we all need friends. Loving and being loved is truly what life is about. I can’t imagine a life without it.

    • I know what you mean – when my husband died 13 years ago my real friends rallied around. They mostly didn’t have to say anything. They just accepted my devastating sense of loss and were there when I needed them. The fair weather friends dropped by the wayside.
      Thanks for reading my blog and commenting. I am very new to blogging but am loving the people I am meeting through it.

  9. Lovely post! I thought of the James Taylor version of that song. First line, immediately recognized it.
    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com

    • Hi Sandi – yes I really love that version but did you click the link to Carol King? She sings with Celine Dion, Shanaia Twain and Gloria Estefan. It’s quite special.

  10. This is such a wonderful post and look at the various kinds of friendships. Thank you, Judith.

    I enjoyed the cat & dog at play video, too. I wish my two cats, who are sisters, would play as well together. They tend to get a little rough with each other if the play goes on for too long.

  11. Thanks for dropping by Robin. The cat (one of three) belongs to my daughter and as soon as she brought the kitten home he and Lotte, my dog, became instant friends.
    The cat is like a dog in that as soon as I drive up in my car he is there to look for his friend. And really we are not sure when they are playing if they even know that one is a cat and one a dog.

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  14. I’ve never read anything about this subject that was put in such a perfect, eye-opening way. I needed this today – thank you Judith.

  15. Thanks for dropping in Tracy and I appreciate your comment . Isn’t it great how sometimes what we need just opens up before us? I hope you come back again soon.

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  21. I came to this post via something you wrote today. Friends are truly the glue that holds our lives together and you have been so attuned to what they all mean to us over time and for short periods and for good reasons. I’m glad I found this insightful post. Once again, you have made me think.

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