Do we get to choose our children?

Day one of a brand new month.  Here in New Zealand we see the new day before anybody else. So a brand new day and another month of daily blogging.


Sunrise at the beach

My spiritual friends assure me that we choose our parents, thereby choosing the family into which we are born..  So does it then follow that we choose our children? Given the choice I would choose my two children.

Cate and David

Babies for a short time

I have two very special children. They have grown up to be  well-rounded, caring human beings and they are close to the top of my Gratitude List.

They were my rocks when my husband died.  They took over the ghastly chores, arranging the funeral, advising friends and relatives of the death, arranging the ‘after match function’ and all the other tasks that have to be performed at such a time.  They did this for me, allowing me time to grieve while the world went on around me.

My son and daughter-in-law took me into their home where I stayed for over three months.  I introduce Rose as ‘my daughter-in-law from heaven’.  Is it any wonder?

And in the years since then, my son and daughter and their spouses have been there for me.

I stayed with my daughter and son-in-law following surgery for breast cancer and I stayed with them for a couple of months last year when I sold my house and had to wait to move into the new one.

Recently I had an accident and cut my hand very badly.  A call to my daughter and she was there within minutes to take me to the after hours surgery and to wait while my hand was attended to.

So I publicly give grateful thanks to my children for all they have done for me.

And my advice to young mothers – Look after your children.  Love them and they will repay you many times over.  We have them for such a very short time. Enjoy your journey with them.

We know that our children learn by example and I found this when ‘noodling’ (my elder sister’s word) around the internet.  I don’t know who Connie Back is but love the sentiment.

“When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang up my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I LOOKED….and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.”
Thanks to Connie Back

8 responses to “Do we get to choose our children?

  1. Christine in Los Angeles

    I do like that quote. Hundreds of years ago, when I was soooo very young, I saw a sign that said “you are their first teacher”, aimed at parents, I guess, but I think it applies to everone that interacts with a child – how else will s/he learn how to treat others, to grow to be a decent, caring person, dealing honestly with all s/he meets. They learn, not only from parents and schoolteachers, but, unfortunately, from sportsheroes, and ‘celebrities’, and from politicians (erk!), so we need to be ever-careful in the lessons we teach our littl’uns.

    God bless, Christine


  2. Loved this post! Yes, our children are such precious treasures. Thanks for linking my blog to this post. I enjoyed discovering you!


  3. Congratulations on your first month of blogging!


  4. Jenny – thanks for the encouragement you give me when reading my blogs. It has been a busy but fun month. So I will keep on keeping on.


  5. You are welcome. I would miss your writing if you stopped! Keep going!!!


  6. Pingback: Solitude, Silence, Simplicity, Sentiments and Saturday | I choose how I will spend the rest of my life

  7. Pingback: Solitude, Silence, Simplicity, Sentiments and Saturday | I choose how I will spend the rest of my life

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