Daily Archives: March 22, 2011

Choices, Values and Rules

Everyday we make choices and the choices we made yesterday determine where we are today.

Penguin with cymbals on polar bear

..then run like hell

Some of the choices are made using the Rules and/or Values that we have acquired or adopted during our life. They can be values or rules inherited from our parents or taken on board from peers, friends and acquaintances.  Often we are not even aware that we have adopted these values and rules.

And today’s blog was prompted by another blogger who raised the question “Do you make your bed each day?”

Bed make up for the dayWell, yes I do.  This is one of the things I do each morning without fail, so I guess you could say it is a rule.

But in our lives we have rules by which we live and not all of them benefit us really. Would it matter if I didn’t make the bed one day; or if I went out without my makeup on?  The answer is probably no,  not to anybody else, but these two rules are part of who I am.

Values however, are quite different.  My values include:

  • I am totally honest in all my dealings with others
  • I treat everybody with respect and expect respect in return
  • I am always supportive of family and friends
  • I listen to the points of view of others
  • I treat everybody with kindness.  I do not knowingly hurt others
  • I do everything as well as  I can and have pride in my work
  • I am working on being patient and gracious in all things

Values empower us They assist us in how we live; they help us make the choices offered every day.  Whereas Rules tend to place limits on us:

  • I make the bed every day
  • My house must always be tidy
  • I never go our without makeup on

And sometimes Values and Rules can cross over as in:

  • I must always be on time – as a value this can be respect for others; as a rule this is can be limiting

I am sure there are many others – why don’t you make a list for yourself?

Today’s quote comes from Barbara De Angelis , American relationship consultant, lecturer and author.

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”

Thank you for visiting.  Please come back soon.

Lotte and Major

Best friends


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